Where I'm at

Well I just got back yesterday from a 5 Day vacation in Las Vegas. Very enjoyable getaway, the snow peaked mountains are gorgeous... (even more so especially since Florida is the land of flatness) I got see some shows and spend some time with my brother. And the cherry topping..... I lost weight while I was on vacation!!!! How is that possible... well I was mindful of what I was eating, and decided not to eat crap food. Plus they have so many delicious salads to try....

So today I stand (write) before you weighing 218.2. Almost two pounds lighter that when my last post was. Not bad.... let's bring it on down.

This is the time of year when everyone begins to think about their new years resolutions. I like to call them goals. Some how 'new years resolutions' just doesn't work for me. I dunno. Anyhow I started this blog last January with the intent on changing. I have to admit..... I took some long breaks, and I am not where I want to be, but I would rather reestablish my goals and focus more.

Something that is really awesome is a program called '50 Days of Fitness' beginning Jan. 15 and ending.... 50 days later... Basically for $25 I have access to all the gyms in my county, unlimited use! It's great because there are 2 gyms that I love.... but they cost about $60 a month!.... so now I get to enjoy the heck out of them. I joined with my old gym buddy. We were gym buddies back in 2005 and we have a 4 month dedicated routine. We were serious! So now.... we are back on again! We are going to make a schedule to work with. I'll post it once we figure it out.

Soccer season is also beginning. I started doing some work on the treadmill.... but got a little busy before I went to Las Vegas. I'm going to start that up again today. Back at it!
Well that's all for now, more lata
Hope everyone is having a healthy and happy day!

Love Always,
Amberly

C25K Week 1, Day 1 Mastered

Well so it begins..... in fact it should have already begun... but let's not dwell on the past now.

I was watching Biggest Loser last night and I was moved. If anyone else is following the show you'll know that Elizabeth has made it to the final 4. She has been passed from week to week, and truthfully.... I don't think that she would've kept it up if she had gone home. She was in the elimination room every week except once! When she got home (in this last episode) she wasn't doing so hot... she was having problems adjusting. Granted I could see that there would be an adjustment period going from Biggest Loser Campus 24/7 to real life..... but she was home a month and still nothing. Jillian made a visit with her and was able to talk a little sense into her. Then 2 weeks later they had the Biggest Loser marathon.... which from what I could tell SHE RAN THE WHOLE THING!!!

At that moment... I was like 'Okay if she could do it.... what's the matter with me?' I've got the heart! I'm lacking the motivation. Then of course I saw this really awesome commercial for GoDaddy.com with Jillian Michaels... and I thought... there is my motivation, I wanna look like her!!! Click Here to see the video on youtube.



I also purchased an audio cd called 'How to get what you want' by Zig Ziglar. It was pretty motivating also. I've been listening to that the last 2 days. Zig talks about how he lost weight... and It got me motivated.  Now, I gotta keep me motivated!

I just finished my first C25K session (Couch to 5K) and I feel amazing. And, I'm not in that bad of shape for not exercising in a month 6 weeks. Can't believe it's been that long. But again... we aren't focusing on the past now are we? (That's really not a question, it's a statement...) So here is what it entailed:

Today's workout consisted of:

Brisk five-minute warmup walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes. Five-minute cooldown walk.

 

I actually altered it to do 60 seconds speed walk, 60 seconds jogging. I was doing great until about 2/3 of the way... I realized I didn't wrap my ankle... and I had pain shooting up from my ankle almost to my knee. So I walked for 2 minutes, and then I jogged the last 3!!! I did a 20 minute cool down. All while watching biggest loser (again). 

Feeling good. I'm going to take a new set of measurements, write up my food log for the day, and make an awesome salad for dinner. I'm also going to write up my rewards system.... I found something I really want! It's the new Zumba game for PS3.... It looks like to much fun... and a great workout while we are at it! I think I will set that for my goal when I reach 199! More on that tomorrow!

Hope everyone is having a happy and healthy one!

Stay warm for all the my friends out in the cold!

Love Always,

Amberly

I have missed you!

Seriously, I missed blogging. I went on my trip to Arkansas to visit my family and I don't have internet out there (we don't spend enough time at the house to turn it on). I went out a few times to my brothers and used his internet.... but It was a bit slower... and I gave up after the 2nd day. It wasn't until I was on the plane ride home that it suddenly dawned on me that I could write on my iphone and post it.... (yes even though I'd like to think I'm on top of all this technology.... there are times when I flash back to the 20th century....) So on the plane I pulled out my iphone and wrote down my thoughts....

And it goes something like this:

"Well I'm sitting on the plane mid flight on my way back to Florida and I'm just so motivated to get home and get started back into a routine. I didn't get the chance to write this week while I was away due to the fact that I have to go to my brothers or to Starbucks or somewhere with free wifi.

I've been thinking a lot though. I have an aunt that is 300 maybe pushing 350. And as we all have she always says that she has tried everything and nothing will work. She has been approved for the gastric weight loss surgery and will probably go through the procedure in the next couple of months. It amazes me to no end, don't get me wrong I love this women, but I can't stand her habits. See we come from a family that really appreciates buffets.... Now of course it's because there is variety for everyone..... And it is also kinder on the ole pocket when it comes to dishing out the moola. However it has never been a good decision because of the quantity of food. My family eats. And let me tell you it doesn't matter if they are skinny or heavy set.... They can pack it in. In the past year since I've been making over my eating habits I go to these places and I'm amazed at what I use to eat. It's glutenous I tell ya.Well today we ate at a buffet before we left town and I'm just watching my aunt packing it in. And as I said before it really amazes me to no end that she is the way she is. I know people that have gone through the gastric bypass surgery lost an amazing amount of weight..... And then they are on their way back up!! I'm not dissing the surgery, it's a personal decision for everyone. One of the things I dislike about it is that although it is helpful and life changing, I'm seeing more and more people using it as a quick fix and not changing their behaviors. Therefore people never truly treat the real problem and go back to their old life styles. They begin to eat sugar again and eating more than the certain amount of ounces allotted..... Stretching out their already smaller stomach. I'm afraid for her. She's asked me in the past my opinion and I've told her all this, however I'm not sure that it ever sank in. Almost like a kid begging for a new puppy "I promise I'll clean up after it and walk it everyday" .... A month or so later you'll see that the parents have gained new responsibilities. I want the best for my aunt but I hope that she sees the work it's gonna take to keep herself healthy.

My father keeps calling me by her name on accident. I'm really starting to find it offensive. They weren't ever that close.... And so I feel that he does it because he looks at me and sees me fat and he looks at her and sees fat also. It bothers me so much. This has gone on for about a year now. I was thinking the other day "hmm I wonder who he'll confuse me with when I lose more weight, jillian michaels lol"

I've been reading this magazine called 'off the couch' it's an Oxygen Magazine collectors issue. They publish it once a year. This thing has got me motivated. I'm going to write about stuff in it over the next few weeks. I like to keep my posts short and sweet..... Not like a book."

Well... that's where I finished because we were landing. I wanted to post this because it had a lot of deep thoughts. I am really excited and motivated. I will be posting more and more each day out of the magazine... it has inspired deeper thinking and hopefully it will have you, my reader, becoming inspired and motivated as well. 

Other news.... I got sick over the past week and I checked my blood glucose level and it was higher than I would like it to be. Good news.... it dropped from 300 to 170 in a matter of a 6 hours... I'm going to check it again in the morning. I know that being sick, and other monthly pains can cause it to spike.... but I also know that having 1 1/2 cups of rice the night before didn't help either (rice is a 'sugar spiker' for me).





Last thing for the night: My mom and I got to see Dave Ramsey Live (Debt Guru). He came to Orlando at the beginning of November. It was a real treat. So she mastered a plan to go a whole month without shopping (with the exception of grocery shopping... strictly food only.... in fact she usually shops at Target... and she is going to another grocery store that has just groceries so she doesn't have any temptation to buy anything non-food). She was thinking of also cutting out going to restaurants for the whole month. So..... starting tomorrow (Dec 1)... that is what I'm going to do. I think this will help me kick-start my healthy eating and get me on the road to where I need to be. It will also sock my system a bit, and help me focus on the right foods... before I go into the restaurants. In fact.... I eat out way too much. I usually grab lunch and dinner on the run. It's sad I know, and it's something that I have realized is a problem... and it needs to change.

Okay guys.... I will check in tomorrow!
Hope everyone has a healthy and happy Dec 1st!!!
Love Always,
Amberly

Quite the Conundrum

Why is it that when you are doing well and on the right track.... all of a sudden you are faced with a delima.... Like you wake up and go to fix your breakfast and BAM there is a box of doughnuts.... that would NEVER be there if you weren't on the right track.

Well this morning I woke up to this.....

Okay yes this does LOOK healthy.... but my husband just loves to submerge his chicken in sugary bbq sauces. And then I also say this:

This is my husbands traditional Macaroni Pie.... in a 13 x 9 inch casserole dish.... Can anyone guess how many calories are in this? 

Truth: I woke up to a clean house... and he cooked himself all this food in which he'll eat for the next few days while I'm gone..... It wasn't for me.... but it was really tempting. I'd be lying if I say that I avoided it.... but I ate small portions. But I'm sure that you have all been faced with this type of conundrum.... what do you do...  Its just funny.... (But at least I've got a husbands that cooks... and very well might I add)

I feel smaller today.... which is always good. AND I got my treadmill. It's awesome. I did just a little bit on it to make sure it was in working condition. It's in my living room now... I wanted to put it in my bedroom but I over estimated the size of the machine and it just won't work out. (I spend a lot of time in the bedroom) So noe... I'm gonna have to spend time in the living room. I can go for a run while entertaining right?!?!?! LOL

Tomorrow I have to do about a million things to get ready for my trip... fun stuff.... But I'm definitely gonna do a little running :o)

Hope everyone had a happy and healthy day!
Love Always,
Amber

It's Treadmill buying Season!

So I was wasting some time and looking at all the new gifts at a few stores today when I saw a treadmill. I've been really thinking about buying one because I want to have the ability to run whenever I want... not just during gym hours... and I don't like running at night. So I started searching on craigslist and I couldn't believe how many treadmills were listed... and most peoples ad read something like "Like brand new, bought 8, 9 0r 10 months ago... in great condition hardly used... selling cheap because we need the money for xmas". TOTALLY LOVE IT!!!! So basically these people bought brand new treadmills around January..... (New years resolution time) and probably used them as an expensive coat/clothing rack... and now they can sell them and get some fast money.... and someone like me can get a great bargain.

I'

So as of tomorrow I will be the proud owner of a cool looking treadmill. It's got a lot of great features... including Ipod hook up with surround sound speakers!!!! Do you think that it can make healthy snacks too?
 The other thing that is the coolest feature.... is I can sit it right in front of my TV and watch all my shows... while simultaneously burning calories... NO more watching biggest loser while eating a pint of ice cream lol!! I'm thrilled.

I'm leaving in a couple days to go visit family for a week. I'm really excited.... and I've planned out my exercise regime. I'm also cooking over the next week so I can control ingredients and calories. I'm psyched... lol... that's been my word lately. I've decided that I want to keep working hard and weigh in when I get back. Which will be Monday morning Nov 29th.

I hope everyone is making so great plans for this holiday season. Remember... it's about family not about the food... put food in it's proper position and remember to eat to fuel your body. I always try to remember this... that way when I'm about to make a bad decision.... it really affects me when I ask 'What is this food really doing to my body... helping it or harming it'.

I was watching an episode of Biggest Loser last season and the contestants were visiting the Olympic (village?)... an area where the Olympic athletes were training and they were showing the different foods that the athletes eat. They explained that the different events called for completely different meal plans.... obviously higher calorie meals for athletes that needed more fuel. Then this women athlete start describing her food.... I eat chicken because it's protein and I need it to help repair my muscles after training, and...... she explained everything on her plate.

That had a big impact on me. I eat, not for any rhyme or reason..... I eat because I'm hungry and I usually find whatever I can... or whatever I want. Of course I watch my portions and should be keeping a count on my calories.... but I never thought about it as 'Food is for fuel'..... and your should 'fuel your body'. Breaking it down even further... if you think about putting gas in your car tank when it is low.... you don't stop and ask the car 'What do you feel like having today' ... no... it's simple. Well I want this to be simple without my emotions getting involved. Believe me though... I love food... and taste is such as awesome thing...... But for me these things along with my poor judgement, my need to fill my cravings immediately, and my sometimes failing will power..... has gotten me in this mess. I really do get the meaning of BALANCE now. It's a very tricky thing. So now.... I have started being 'present' when I'm eating or 'conscious' .... I really don't want to eat a meal and think to myself that it must have been about 500 calories.... when it's really 3000..... I want to be responsible and know what I'm doing.... not act like a victim and wonder how I got to be like this.

I'm inspired.... can't you tell?

Well I hope everyone is having a happy and healthy day!
I will check in with the news of my purchase tomorrow!

Love Always,
Amberly

Proud Moments

I am just extremely pysched!!!! It's is Tuesday night (Wednesday early AM). I feel great.... I had to write.
Today I had a soccer game. It was playoffs and unfortunately we lost so we were knocked out. That's it for our season. I hadn't been to the past two games... and I will admit something (between me and you)... I didn't workout an ounce!!! I kind of fell into a deep depression. In fact for some reason I always fall into this depression around October and February. This time though it started when I sprained my ankle.... I tried to stay positive and think to myself that if I continued eating the right way.... then I would be in good shape. Well... I didn't.... I'm tired of talking about me failing. I almost feel like that I always have good intentions... but don't follow through. I hate that. I hate feeling like I'm whining about my problems... and poor me can't lose it. But I'm just tired of it... tired of excuses and reasons.

Okay... that turned a little negative (although true) but that is not the reason that I wanted to write today. So back to the game. I haven't been working out... I'm not in shape... (I couldn't even run 2 laps around the soccer field for warm ups... pathetic) however... the coach put me in a new position and I was continually running... and doing pretty well!!! Of course had I been in better shape I could've done more and been more on my toes.... but out of a 90 minute game I played all but 20 minutes. I felt really good.
All day long I have been eating well. I didn't eat enough... but I ate very well. On the way home from the game I wanted some soup... so I stopped to get some. I really wanted chocolate covered almonds. So I picked some up... and if I would've ate the whole package it would've been 400 calories and 32grams of fat. Now I don't know if any of you have experienced this... but say you have a package of M&Ms .... you can't just eat half of it.... It will bother me until I finish it... I don't know why.... but seriously and when I finish the bag then I'm satisfied and I don't give another thought to it. In fact I've been trying to figure out how to 'trick myself' into thinking that the whole bag is done when really there is only half..... Hasn't worked yet. Well tonight... I ate a few bites so that I had the taste... and I was done!!!!!! For real!!! I put the rest in the fridge. I think that when I looked at the label and actually THOUGHT about what I was eating.... and the fact that I had just exercised.... that's what helped me. Okay that's it for thinking about it because I don't want to end up running to eat it in a few hours.

I'm starting my exercise regime. I really want to be in shape for tryouts. Now, since I'm on the team I will most likely still hold a position on the team however there is no guarantee... and lets just face it..... I want to be in shape and have no one to have cause for concern when we start up again. I'm going to start working out tomorrow. I just need to figure out when. I have to take my car in the morning, then work... hopefully I find sometime in the morning... other wise it's the afternoon/evening baby.

Alright, that's all I got in me for now. I hope everyone is having a healthy and happy one.
Take care of yourselves and try not to get sick this cold season!

Back (again)

Well... Vegas was such a success that I stayed there and just got back.... okay maybe that's a lie.
Let's see... After I got back from Vegas I was feeling pretty on top of the world. I tried out for a club soccer team and when I got back I immediately started practicing with them. We had our first pre-season game the following week. I was pretty proud of myself.... and then about 20 minutes into the game.... I twisted my ankle, heard the cracks.... so I came out of the game for a little while.. Well after about 20 minutes I didn't have any pain and it wasn't swelling so I went back in. A little history, I sprained my ankles so many times it's not even worth the time to count. I've always had week ankles (because I've always been bigger, although I'd like to think it's because I'm a really good aggressive player). So after the game..... we where sitting down taking off our gear and chatting about our game when my ankle started swelling up....Badly.

That weekend I went away with my hubby on a beach retreat weekend and couldn't do a single thing. So I got upset and depressed.... and started eating....

I thought I would only be benched for a week or so.... 7 weeks later I'm able to play in my first game. I was so upset because I was in horrible shape. Some of these girls didn't even know I was on the team, and I came to every game to support the team :o(

So now I am here. 

All 220 pounds of me. 

I didn't gain much weight... (good thing) ..... but I started filling out... and I feel bloated. 

My soccer team has a few more games this season and then they start back in January. I have decided that I need some desperate workout and training. So I am going to work on running a 5K. I'm going to do a couch 2 5K workout plan.

With that I shall leave you and go and read up on all my inspiring friends and see how everyone else's journey is going. I will weigh in tomorrow morning and update my info... and report on my efforts.
Have a healthy and happy day!
~Amberly

A quick update

Well... I am 5 days away from Vegas! It's all actually hitting me now... and it looks like I will be doing laundry and cleaning all weekend long (at least I have a reward at the end!).

I went to the Doctor on Tuesday... and... and... and... I lost more weight :o) I am now 213.6 Whooo... hoo... I'm really psyched. For the longest I couldn't go below 217... I really wanted to be 200 by the time I leave for Vegas... but I will settle for under 210 :o) 

Last year I went to Vegas for a week, and I came back 10 lbs lighter. I had a routine there and I stayed on point with my eating. So that's the plan this time. Every morning I had a mushroom omelet with a little cheese sprinkled on the top. I ate small things through out the day, and I had a nice lovely dinner.

Also last year the week after I returned from Vegas, I lost another 10 pounds... bringing me down to 193. So... whoever is in charge of this weight loss thing.... I want that again... Thank you :o)

I just wanted to check in and let you guys know my good news.
Hope everyone is havin' a healthy and happy one!
More Lata,
Amberly

Losin it with Amberly!

Things have been going really well. I still have my new mentality. I haven't cheated at all... nor have I even wanted to! I'm really happy with myself. Tomorrow is Saturday... and I am taking a personal day. I'm always off on Saturdays... I mean I am not gonna go run any errands... I'm going to stay home and organize some stuff and play with my dogs. I just want a slow and relaxing day. I've had a pretty hectic schedule and have been doing a lot on little or no sleep. I do want to go to the gym tomorrow... other than that... I'm a homebody!

I just realized that I didn't even tell you that I'm going to Las Vegas on August 10th!!!!! I'm excited. I'm going to plan a business seminar for the upcoming year ... but it will kind of be like a vacation!  11 Days to go!!

I was listening to the Dave Ramsey radio show... (debt guidance guru) and there was a quote that was said that I love.... not sure who said it though.

"Discipline is remembering what you want"

Totally loving it... In fact I'm always saying it. It's my new slogan lol. But it's true... when you remember what you really want... you keep yourself from falling off the wagon.

I went to my weight loss challenge meeting tonight and guess what! I lost some weight!! Since I didn't go to the doctor this week, I will count this as my weekly weigh in. I am down 5.1 lbs!!!! Whooo hooo!!! And it was a nightly weigh in... I always weigh in the morning for true and accurate weight, so I know I am down more....  I'm thrilled!

My husband and I booked a little getaway during Labor Day weekend in Sept..... So I was hoping to be under 200 by then.. (Well actually I'd totally love to be under 193... the weight I was when we met..... but under 200 is probably a stretch as it is).

Well I think I am going to turn in early tonight. I need to catch up on my sleep!!
Hope everyone has a happy and healthy weekend!!
Love Always,
Amberly

My Awakening

Over the last few days.... things have changed. I have a new mindset. Suddenly I began feeling the importance of this journey. It's such a wonderful feeling. I am feeling more responsible... more mature. I've written about that before... however it was because I was making the right decisions.... This time it's different. For instance after work today I met my husband at our favorite restaurant Bahama Breeze (Absolutely Fab for anyone loving Caribbean themed food).

My usual order is: 

'Crab, Shrimp, Mango and Avocado Stack'

Jumbo lump crab meat, chilled shrimp, fresh avocados and apple-mango salsa layered and stacked; with a spicy honey-red pepper drizzle.

'Creole Baked Goat Cheese'

It's Goat Cheese roasted red bell peppers served with vine-ripened tomato salsa and parmesan toast rounds
These are my appetizers. The Creole Baked Goat Cheese is amazing... but my down fall is that I will eat the whole thing... and it comes with 15 - 20 parmesan toast rounds (This is not on my diet... I could have an ounce or two of the cheese... but that's it).

And for Dinner I order:

'Jamaican Grilled Chicken Breast'
Jerk seasonings, mango glazed, with mango pineapple salsa, cinnamon mashed sweet potatoes, seasonal vegetables.  

I end up taking half of this home for a later meal. On my diet I am not suppose to have the cinnamon mashed sweet potatoes. Usually I will order the Goat Cheese appetizer knowing it's a downfall and I'll tell myself that I am "Allowing" myself to have it.... but who am I fooling... I'm just sabotaging myself. And when I order my dinner... I'll get the sweet potatoes anyway....

So how is it different this time? I went to the restaurant and ordered only the 'Crab, Shrimp, Mango and Avocado Stack' and when I ordered my dinner... I asked for double green beans instead of the sweet mashed potatoes. And then I only ate half the green beans and a few bites of chicken. I brought the rest home.

So I made some good choices... I've done that before... How is this time different? I didn't have to tell myself before I went to the restaurant what I was getting. I just went and ordered.... as if it was natural. I didn't feel like I was 'missing out' on anything. And I enjoyed spending time with my husband, and the atmosphere.... it wasn't about the food. It was just another meal I had. Sometimes I would make it all about the food. I felt relaxed and laid back.

Other things going on... I'm slowly taking control of other aspects of my life. I use to be a neat/clean freak. Over the last year I've had to deal with some depression. I felt like I was stuck in a rut.... that I couldn't get out of. I didn't want to do anything.... I kind of let myself go. I was doing so well at the beginning of the year... and then around March or April I just kind lost that spark.

Something has got me going, and it's getting stronger everyday. I'm coming up on my 2 year marriage anniversary in January... and it's been a bit hard at first. They always say that the first year or two are rough. It has been a bit rough at times. It just seems to all be coming together now. I guess I am fitting into my role as a wife... I'm not really sure, but I feel the spark or the passion in my life back.

I've started making goals and plans. It's not about "If" I accomplish them... it's "when". I have a pretty big 'TODO' List and it isn't over whelming.... I'm starting on things and knocking them off one by one. It's this mindset in me that has me realizing that I am going to reach my goal weight. I have never before been this sure of it. I have been journaling (in my personal journal) more... trying to get to the bottom of this new mindset. Could it be that I love with myself again? I've always loved myself but never enough to do what's right for me. I've always let my people pleasing faux pas completely have control over me... I've put myself on the back burner. I know that I'm doing things for me. This isn't about anyone else....except me.

As I embrace this wonderful feeling and work on finding it's true origin... I know one thing is for sure... I love am truly enjoying this journey. I'm having a lot of self-realizations and learning a lot about myself. I'm also becoming a new me. In my adult life I have never been healthy... I have never weighed under 193lbs.... I really truly (once all the layers have been peeled back) don't know who I am. Things that have defined me in the past... are no longer apart of me anymore. I've been used and abused (mentally) in too many different relationships.... I know that these people have their own issues and they are to blame for being that way... However I am taking full blame for allowing myself to be the victim. I am no longer a victim.

I hope that each and everyone that is going through their own journey has this awakening that I have had... Because it feels totally freaking awesome!

Have a happy and healthy day!!!
Love Always,
Amberly

Soccer Tryouts

So I had the soccer tryouts today. It was pretty good. I actually did well, usually I have this thing about sports and first impressions.... (doesn't really work well) but I did very well. I will find out in a few days what team I will be on! I'm excited. We played indoor... the coach said that every time she schedules tryouts it always rains, so now she just holds tryouts in the the indoor arena.... One major problem.... no air conditioning! We were dying! They had fans on... but it didn't help that much. It was so hot in there that I would get that really sick to my stomach feeling. They even alternated us every 10 minutes off the field for a water break just so we wouldn't die of heat exhaustion. All in all it was pretty good though.

Tomorrow is Monday.... fun stuff... I have to work, and then I have a nice little class to attend... I also plan on going to to gym and I think I'm going to start doing some jogging... I need to work on endurance... well first I need to work on jogging steadily for 5, 10, 20 minutes....

Other than that... I'm doing pretty good... I'll check in later. I made some Hibiscus tea and I'm going to sip on it before I go to sleep.
Goodnight everyone
Amberly

Update

I went to the doctor yesterday. I stepped on the scale before I went and I had lost 4lbs... SCORE... then I got to the doctor and gained .6lbs :o(  I drank some water on the way there... but not 4.6lbs worth!!! I know that doctors scales usually are different from home.... but I was so bummed. The nurse was like "okay what happened this week" and I was in disbelief. I worked out on Wed, Thurs, and Mon. I have been sticking closely to my diet. I had Sushi on Saturday... but only a bit and that once wasn't enough to throw my whole week out of a loop. My husband said its probably that I've gained muscle... which is a good reason.... however the nurse wasn't buying it. Ughh... I hate that. I'm not going to the doctor weekly and paying out of pocket for me to lie and say "I don't know what happened".... I have no reason to lie.... this is for my benefit. I showed her my food log, and she gave me a paper that had a boring layout of a weekly food log and told me she wants to use that. Well.... suck all the fun out of everything. I have an appt. in two weeks... (they aren't there next week for some kind of conference) I hope to lose 20 lbs.... just to be like SEE ITS NOT ME SABOTAGING MYSELF.... but then they will think that I just got it together because of the last weigh in...
So you know what I say. I don't care what they think. And if I feel like this in the next visits to come, I may need to start looking for a new doctor. Okay that's my rant... I'm done lol.

GYM
So I have been going to the gym... I've been doing 30 min on the elliptical and 20 minutes of weight training. I notice my thighs are really shaping up.... I can fit into these shorts that I could not wear like 2 weeks ago. I use to sit down in them and the hem of the shorts would act like a belt to my thigh fat and there would be spillage.... not any more... I'm floating around in them.

MEASUREMENTS
I took my measurements at the beginning of June when I first went to the doctor, and so I figure I will retake them at the beginning of August.

WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE
I joined that weight loss challenge. It turns out there is only one other person doing it. She weighs 215, (right under me) but I figured I would do it and keep it up so I could help her. I think she's in her late 40s, maybe early 50s and she was just diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, and I thought 'Hey I already got that... I can help you.' I also know me and I like helping people. It's a shame to say... but I am not a self motivator.... I am motivated when it comes to helping other people. I don't know why... just I've always been that way. So I figure I'll stick to this challenge so I can help her, which in turn will help me help myself!

VOLLEYBALL
I haven't joined or called about it yet. It's on Saturdays, but I have another obligation this Saturday, so maybe the next one.

SOCCER
Tryouts are on Saturday!!! I'm really psyched but I haven't done any running, and they are going to be playing on the large soccer field... I think I'm gonna die!!! I saw these girls play in February.. and of the teams I saw there were a few heavy set girls... and then there is a team that actually plays for the University of Central FL and the play here on their off season... Hey you never know... this might be my way in to play for the University... could you imagine.. me going pro.... and it all started out because I wanted to loose some weight. Okay so maybe that won't happen... but if it does I'll sign autographs for you guys ;o)

Well that about covers everything that I've been working on lately. A few entries ago I posted that I would work on 5 things... Going to the doctor, weight-loss challenge, daily exercise, soccer, and write everything down. All things are going good.. I am writing everything down also :o)

I hope everyone is having a happy and healthy day
More lata,
Amberly

End of the day update

So today went awesome!
When I last posted I was eating lunch. I had a huge salad from Crispers (my newest favorite place in the whole wide world!!!!) and then I went off to run some errands. I got a chicken sandwich (minus the bread) and an unsweet iced tea from Mickey Ds and then went to the gym. I did about 30 minutes on the Elliptical keeping my heartrate around 136 (Doctors Orders) and then I spent about 20 minutes on weight training for my upper body. I feel great!! Then I ran a few more errands and came home. I'm catching up on some much needed TODO lists and organizing my home office desk. I just ate my last meal of the day a little while ago (4oz of seasoned King Fish... really good!!)

So to add to what I was blogging about earlier today, about changes..... I forgot to mention that there is volleyball every Saturday morning. I use to play in high school. I think they play every Saturday for like 4 hours. I know that I'm putting a lot on my plate it seems... but I know me... I know that if I'm not continually moving forward and keeping myself occupied... I will slack off.

Also I was just chatting with one of my friends about taking a trip to Vegas. We were kind of planning it the 1st weekend of December. She wants to drop 30lbs, and I want to drop as much as my body will allow at a healthy level. There are 20 weeks between now and then. She has to lose 1.5lbs to meet her goal. I was looking at like 4lbs a week to meet mine. However I know that that is not reasonable. I am thinking 2 lbs a week (but really aiming at 4 lol). If I did manage to lose 4 a week that would put me at 141lbs!!! which my goal weight is about 150 or so... (I was gonna figure out where I want to be when I got there). If I achieved 2 lbs a week that would be 181 and that would still be pretty amazing. But now I'm excited because I have a deadline. Whoo hoo!!

Anyhow, I'd better get to sleep. I hope everyone had a great day!
More tomorrow,

Love Always,
Amberly

Keeping the weight at the forefront

Well I had my 14 year old cousin staying with me for almost 3 weeks. I really had a lot of fun. She has a vivacious personality. On a good note I was able to exercise with her. She is worried about her image as every teenage girl seems to be. So we got to go to the gym and we worked out at home. With that being said I went to the doctor today and I have gained 1.4 lbs in the past month... not bad (considering I cheated a lot of the way ... remember I had a 14 year old teenager with me) but not good.... because this is July and I feel that I am failing at my commitment to myself. So after doing a bit self-evaluation... I have decided to make a few changes... and some additions.

1) Keep going to the doctor weekly - Keeps me on track and focused. I like having a doctor supervise me as well... It makes me feel accountable, and if you remember from when I first began this blog... this has been my problem from the start.

2) I joined this weight-loss challenge - It actually starts on Friday for 9 weeks. Its $50 for the entire 9 weeks, and they have a money prize at the end of the 9 weeks for the top 3 winners. Which is nice... but I'm really doing it for the motivation. Also the people in the challenge will live near me, so maybe we can create a walking group.. or SCORE - MAYBE THEY ALL GO TO MY GYM!! Then I can have workout buddies.

3) Daily exercise - This is something I've always said... but never really followed through. My doctor wants me to do 20 minutes a day of walking, treadmill, or elliptical (heart rate at 136) and then 10 min a day of weight training.... alternating upper and lower body. This is so doable. So everyday I am going to pack a gym bag so that on my way home from work (or to work) I can get my workout in.

4) SOCCER - I love soccer so much... if you couldn't tell already. There is a summer session that ends at the end of AUG... and basically I will get to play twice a week. Then at the end of Aug I will hopefully make the woman's competitive soccer team (tryouts are July 16... oh crap that's in a few days .. where has the time gone?) I was also thinking about doing the Co-ED team as well (they play on different days).

5) Write everything down! - This is a no brainer... and I usually do well with this... but on my busy days I have a tendency to not write anything down and try to catch up at the end of the day. NO MORE... it truly doesn't take that much time to jot down what I'm eating and what time it is.

So far that's all I got.. but it's a pretty good start. You can also see how I'm trying to make weight-loss/healthy lifestyle.... the forefront of my mind. I feel this will aide me until I am strong enough to rely on myself (and be able to trust myself too).

Well I just finished lunch, so I'm gonna jot that down then it's off to work for me.
Hope everyone is doing well. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you.
Have a healthy and happy day!
Love Always,
Amberly

Just a quick note

Just a quick note to let y'all know I'm still alive and doing well. Summertime is my travelin months so I have been a bit busy. I'm back home bit now I will have company coming in for the next two months!!! At least I'm home right!?!?!?!

Good news joining up to play on two soccer teams.... I'm psyched. Gotta worknpn getting back in shape and getting ready for it. I haven't played soccer since may :o(

More lata
love Always
Amberly

So Far so Good

Yea, they put me on Metformin... and probably a genetic brand of Trico. I already got the metformin and my blood sugar is starting to stabilize. I couldn't get Tricor because of my health insurance.... so I haven't gotten that yet.

Day one is over and so far so good! I stayed focused.
It's so funny and I don't quite understand it.... It feels great to make good decisions... to get my exercise in, and to eat the right food...... And yet I fight against it so much. And what's even worse.... when I don't exercise, don't eat right I feel awful. Why do I want to put myself through that misery? Beats the heck out of me!

I was reading (go figure... It seems I always am...) a book called "Eat & Beat Diabetes with picture perfect weight loss" by Dr. Howard M. Shapiro and Chef Franklin Becker (who is diabetic).... it is a really awesome book. It show pictures of food .... from the worst option to the best option... and it also shows like a regular breakfast sandwich from any fast food restaurant, and then it shows what you could eat for the same amount of calories (most of the time way less than the calories). I like the visuals... you can definitely see that eating healthy is a lot more food!

Anyways, at the beginning of the book in the intro they give you some shocking news on the facts of diabetes. They also discuss, in short, whats going on inside with the insulin, glucose, and pancreas. I guess what I took from this or 'shocked me' is this:


"Diabetes is not just a disease; it is also a risk factor. It is a component of what doctors have labeled metabolic syndrome - a combination of medical disorders including high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high LDL cholesterol (the bad cholesterol), low HDL cholesterol ( the "good" cholesterol), high triglycerides and overweight or obesity. The more of the components of metabolic syndrome a person has, the greater his or her chances of suffering life-threatening complications."

Wow... I'm self diagnosing myself with metabolic syndrome. Seriously. My blood pressure is good (for now... but if I keep going the way I'm going I know it would be worse)... But all the rest of it fits in perfectly. It's such a much bigger picture than diabetes. Yesterday the doctor was going over the results of my triglycerides and the fact that my blood glucose level was a lot higher than it should be... and he said that I was on my way to having pancreatitis... (shut down on pancreas) ... I've already had it twice... If I keep it up... one day my pancreas won't start working again and then I will be a type 1 diabetic.

As I'm typing all this... I'm feeling ashamed, embarrassed, and such a fool. Why am I not taking care of myself? Why am I taking this so lightly? How am I forgetting the importance, the urgency? Arugula!

I have to keep this in the forefront of my mind at all times. I may have a good day, a good week, a good workout even..... I need to reward myself with something other than food.  I think I am also going to post my blood work results here in my office on the wall... so that I can physically and mentally see it. I may post it on the frige too...

I've also been reading through the blogs and I'm so proud of so many of you. The changes are remarkable! I know that you are on this journey for yourselves.... but you are inspiring to me! Keep up the good work!

Have a healthy and happy day!
Love Always,
Amberly

Off the deep end

Well I went to the doctor's yesterday to help me get back on track.... the took my blood to run some tests... and they did an EKG. The EKG came back looking good. However this morning I got a call from the doctor about my blood work. He's putting me on two medications, one for glucose monitoring.... and the other for Cholesterol. Has it come to this? I shouldn't expect anything less... I haven't been taking care of myself.

I started my 'new healthy eating plan' today. For those of you that read my previous entries starting at the beginning of the year... I told you that I was not to be trusted with myself. I just let myself slide thinking "I'm okay... I've been doing great... I can cheat...." Obviously I can't.

I'm going to be seeing my doctor every Thursday now just to help me keep focused and on track.
I need to take better care of myself.

More Lata
Love Always,
Amberly

Arugula

I've come to realize that I just hate eating out now. I love the atmosphere.... and I love chilling with friends.. But I hate picking out foods and not being able to completely contol what's going in my mouth. I ordered steamed veggies..... and took one bite and I knew that it was cooked with butter after I requested for it not to be. Ughh.... And I also know that the salt is out of control at resturants. Who da ever thought I'd be knocking going out to eat? Whoda ever thought I'd be missing home and wishing I was in my safe zone.

I feel bloated. I've been working out (not as much as I've liked to) but I've just felt nothing but bloated and I feel like I'm gaining weight. I feel like I look like I'm gaining weight. What do I do? I'm at my business conference.... and let's see... I won't be back to my family house until Monday.... and then I'll actually be home Thursday Night..... I miss home :o(

The only thing I can think of is to cut out my carbs... and get as healthy of protein as I can get... double up on veggies....

I hope everyone else has been having a good week!
Have a healthy and happy day
Love Always,
Amberly

Busy, Busy, Busy

I know that I have been really distant. But don't think for a second that I have been slacking off. I've actually revved up into like 8th gear and have really been burning calories. I'm packing for my business conference... however... I will be gone an entire 2 weeks. I've got a plan... and this time... NO DONUTS... lol.

I'm flying so I won't have to worry about a long drive with horrible choices. I'm really pumped about my exercise routine. Since I've been moving around so much (I literally have been cleaning the house from top to bottom) I haven't been doing my INSANITY workouts. Have no fear though... I am bringing them along.

We have a beautiful country side property with tons of acres (I think I will upload some pictures when I get back) so I have my planned workout which will take me 25 minutes to complete. I am also bringing my elastic band weight (?) I don't know the actual name so I will include a picture:

(I don't know who the girl is.... but totally digging her arms!)
These are awesome. I mean free weights are great, but these bands add resistance, and you can tote them around anywhere you go! I have 2 with different resistances (I bought them at Walmart, Target carries them too). So I've got that... and I'm also going to do sprints. I've been playing soccer and I want to work on improving my sprints as well as begin to build endurance and stamina.

I'll keep you posted as time goes by on how I'm doing. The nice thing about getting away... is I'll have a lot of extra free time. Well I still have quite a bit of paper work and I have to design badges for the conference... and it's 3am.... (story of my life)... oh yeah, and I gotta finish packing. Fun Stuff.

I hope everybody has a healthy and happy Thursday!
Love Always,
Amberly

Checkin' In

Hey guys, Sorry it has been a while since I have posted. I can't believe how busy I have been. I'm leaving on Thursday (for 2 weeks) for a business conference, Bonus I will get to spend some much needed time with my family (they happen to leave near the conference!).

Well to make my past week short and sweet.... I was on target, then off, then on.... then off.... I guess I prefer the roller-coaster ride in my life lol. Anyhow... I'm staying true to my April challenge though. I've been exercising and the eating hasn't been quite as prudy as I'd like it to be... butthenagain.... it's me you are talking to.

I've posted before about that I was doing the INSANITY Workout. Well they have a nutrition plan (not diet) to go along with it. I figured it all out and they want me eating about 2500 calories a day.... I was stoked about that... however I feel like I want to cut that down some. Of course that is also based on daily exercise (only one rest day from the program... however they do have workouts that aren't as intense so you aren't killing yourself daily). This nutrition plan wants you to eat proteins, carbs, and fats in a balanced way. It cuts out all the 'white' carbs such as flour, sugar, bread, white pasta... and replaces it with whole grains. It's a very doable for me. So I will be keeping you informed.... as well as post some awesome recipes.

Other news... I found something awesome. I've heard about it and finally tried it today. It's called Fage... it's a greek yogurt that totally replaces my sour cream! I could tell a bit of difference.... but not a whole lot!!!

Nutrition Facts

Calories (1 cup serving size) - Sour Cream 478; Fage 120
Total Fat - SC 45; Fage 0
Saturated Fat - SC 41; Fage 0
Sodium - SC 235; Fage 85
Carbs - SC 15; Fage 9
Sugar - SC 15; Fage 9
Protein - SC 6; Fage 20
Calcium - SC 1%; Fage 25%

I'm pretty thrilled with this find! I am a total sour cream lover! (as you may know.. I'm the reason the Mexican restaurants stay in business)

I have decided that I'm not weighing myself until the end of April when my challenge is complete. (I'll be away anyhow and won't have a scale) I also got really fed up last week when I stepped on it... even though that way the week that I 'expected' to be on the heavier  side.... but still I haven't stepped on it since...  besides.. I'm kinda excited about it... I'd love to step on at the end of the month and have dropped like 10 pounds...(or more).

Well for some reason... I'm in the mood to clean. I dunno why... spring I guess... but I'm getting prepared for my trip and I like to leave with a clean house. My hubby is staying home and having some family down.... so at least it will be nice and clean when they arrive.... (let's hope it stays that way for my return)

Hope everyone is having a happy and healthy weekend!
Love Always,
Amberly

March Results

Well Well Well.... another month has gone by. I'm sorry to say... I really wasn't present for this month... (as you have read... or haven't read... but I digress) However...  as much as I would love to hide it all and act like I had an okay month... (I mean... what I don't tell ya won't hurt you.... right?) that wouldn't really keep me accountable to myself. It's so funny... at times I act like I don't notice... or hide certain facts about myself... from myself..... HELLO... I'm right here... staring at a mirror and I can't really deny the FACTS... It's funny, really funny what we do to ourselves. So here are my month's results....
 

Amberly's Measurements
	Jan	Feb	March	Totals
Weight	230	220.2	218.4	-1.8
Waist	47	45	46	1
Abs	43	41.5	42	0.5
Hips	47	45.5	43	-1.5
Chest	49	46	45.5	-0.5
Below Chest	43	42	41	-1
R Thigh	27	26.5	26	-0.5
L Thigh	27	26	26.5	0.5
R Arm	15.5	15.5	15.5	0
L Arm	15	15	15	0
R Calf	17.5	17.5	17.5	0
L Calf	17.5	17.5	17	-0.5
Neck	17	16.25	16.25	0
				-2

I lost 2 inches total.... (I lost 4 inches... but gained 2 back in other places) and I lost 1.8 pounds... not great... but not bad. I can work with this.... I can move forward from here. I kept Jan results up there so you can see just where I started from.

First Day of April!!! I know that you are dying to know how my day was.... Well... Rushed... and well... Looking back now... I'm kicking myself ... (I forgot today was the first day of April) I had lunch with a good friend of mine and... 9 Enchiladas later..... I kid you not! I wish this was some kind of April Fools Day schenanigan.... But it is not. What is even sadder (makin' up the words as I go along... try to keep up)  I was still hungry after them. Now another horrible thing I must admit to you.... I didn't eat anything all day until 5pm when I had my encounter with mexican goodness. I know I know... So where do I go from here?  Well Insanity is calling my name. I think today is the day (night) that I begin my regimen.... I will let you know if I see the enchiladas again...

Other news... my husband just announced to me that he has lost 10lbs in 2 weeks.... I coulda punched him square in the jaw.... but I'm too sweet to do something like that (  ;o)  )..... I will say it is hard to hear of his great success when I have been working 10 times harder at this than he has (minus this past month cuz it doesn't count lol) but seriously.... I worked my butt off in Jan... and then intensified it with all the exercise in Feb.... only to have lost a total of 11.6 pounds. Which is another reason why I gotta make this journey truly memorable and all about me. Nobody else.

So... in triumph over this April celebration and "MOVING FORWARD" being this months motto.... I have decided to take on a challenge. Skinnyhollie is doing a 21 day challenge and I am all over this like white on rice.  Spring is here... and it's time to make the most of this beautiful weather that we are beginning to have.
The challenge goes like this... It starts April 5th - April 26th and you set a few daily priorities.

1) DAILY EXERCISE - At least 30 minutes of SOMETHING -and I am going to focus on Insanity being my form of exercise.

2) WATER - AT LEAST 100 oz. of water daily.

3) BREAKFAST - Since I have gone AWOL on my routine I need to get into my groove again.

I've actually decided I'm going to start this challenge now. So who is up for it with me? Any takers... anyone needing a fresh start. The terms of this challenge are completely up to you. Just do something different and work on yourself intensely for the next 21 days (25 for me.... heck.. I should make 30 lol )


But I have a challenge... with this challenge. I'm going to be out of town April 15 - 29th for a business. I thought that I would just bring the Insanity dvds with me... but now my husband is hooked on them. I shall figure something out... the one thing I will not do is what I did the last time I went away.... NOTHING.....


I would like to make a small goal for myself too...
My goal is for the month of April to lose 5lbs. This figures out to about a pound a week. Totally doable.
GUESS WHAT! IT'S FRIDAY!!!!
Have a Happy and Healthy Friday (and stay away from the endless enchiladas)
Love Always,
Amberly

Road to Recovery

I'm still having a little trouble getting back on track. Today was the first day all month that I really felt good (Last day of the month... weird I know). I started getting things done today. I've been talking to my lil bro all day long. Seriously, I think we call each other a total of 6 or 7 times each! Usually he calls me for advice, and this time it was me. When did he mature? He's 2 years younger than me. While he was talking to me, I kept thinking.... dang when did he grow up.... I'm always the one telling him this sort of stuff. He really made me come to terms with my life being in a stand still right now. I'm moving forward baby!

Thanks to everyone for all the nice comments I got yesterday. I love blogging! I love my support group!
Well... the Insanity program is INSANE. I can really understand where it gets it's name from. But let me tell you.... it works. I can feel it. At times it does feel like I'm totally not qualified to do it... but I'm working on building up so that I can complete an entire workout.

Well, this is just short and sweet tonight!
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thursday!
Love Always,
Amberly

Taking one day at a time

I'm trying desperately to get focused again. Stop....
Now I'm at a writer's block.

I want to tell you that I've been really down lately and that I can't find anything or anyone to "Pick me up"
I want to tell you that I fought with myself yesterday from eating until my hearts content.... (thank goodness I don't keep crap in my house other wise I would have lost :o(

I really don't know what wrong with me. Yesterday I was playing PS3 all day and I just thought to myself... I need to get back on my routine and start making daily goals. I need to take this one day at a time right now.
Good news... I weighed myself this morning and I'm 219. I was dreading it being higher and then me wallowing in the fact that I've completely backtracked. But I didn't.

I bought the Insanity Workout system. It looks awesome. I started the fit test and I couldn't even finish the other half and I was so sore! I'm going to attempt it again and get revin' on it. I like the idea of a workout that you just use your body and no other equipment. I feel like it's things that I can learn so that I can do them anywhere.

Also I've been playing soccer every week. I even played twice last week. I'm starting to get into my groove and I had a lot of the players telling me that I should try out for a team. That made me feel really good. Last Wednesday when we played they divided up the teams and some of my players were like 'no we don't need that many people on defense... Amber's a really good defender' I really felt awesome! It feels so good to do something well and knowing that my team can rely on me.

The 5k was this past Saturday..... I just remembered. I'm still going to train for a 5k, but I think I shall take a little more time in training. I was right on schedule for the first two weeks of my training... then as you know I disappeared for 2 weeks.

April is right around the corner and it feels to me like a fresh start.

I hope everyone is having a happy and healthy day!
Love Always,
Amberly

Checkin' In

Dang... all day has felt like a Tuesday.... I did 'Sunday' things that I usually do every Sunday... but up until this point I was going to report to you on how my Tuesday was. I'd like to blame that on the fact that I knocked my head on the ground a little too hard while playing soccer on Saturday... however I make these mistakes all the time. At least it's good to know that I don't have brain damage.

Anyhow... I seriously was thinking that today was Tuesday. I was going to write about how this morning my "Tuesday Weight" is 217.4! Then I was going to tell you how I went off my plan a little today because it was Tuesday. I promise.... I'm not smokin' anything!

Well with all that being said I hope everyone had a nice Sunday. I've played soccer for the past two days. I didn't get that much of a work out in though... I played with all guys... which means basically... they are all ball hogs. And what happens when you fight for the ball you might ask? A possible concussion. Actually I was the last defender and I was guarding the goal ( when we play a small scrimage we use the smaller goals without a goalie. Normally the last defender acts as a goalie but can't use hands). So this guy comes running with the ball at my left side and there wasn't a defender in sight... so I step out, ran toward him and with my right leg kicked the ball out.... well with his right leg he kicked both of my feet out from under me. I was falling on my back so I balled my back up for the impact... except his leg was there... so my back landed on his leg and caused my neck and head to whip lash and I hit the ground hard. I had to lay there for a second. Everyone was like OHHHH are you okay. Instead of answering them I started think to myself...  'I'm okay.... yeah you're okay... okay let's get up... ohh that hurts... okay can I stand up.... who's the idiot that did this... I'm okay'  Let's just say I had a bad headache... and my neck is still a little sore and stiff.

Good news though.... after playing on Saturday they asked me to consider playing on their Monday night team of 8 on 8. Which is awesome. Right now I play Adult pick up soccer... there is no commitment. I didn't want to bite off more than I can chew ya know. Now I'm seriously thinking about it. We shall see. My original plan was to join a team in the fall.

Other news... I'm bummed because I thought Biggest Loser was on tonight (see above with the whole 'Tuesday' fiasco)

I haven't been on writing very much. About 3 weeks ago I started painting my computer room. I got it all almost done in about 2 days.... Well... my hubby has to bring the ladder in for me so I can cut in the ceiling.. (I'm a perfectionist... trust me IT WILL BOTHER ME) The ceilings are about 14ft tall. So basically I am sitting at a computer desk in the middle of the room surrounded by paint supplies.... while all my office stuff has taken a new habitat in my dinning room and craft room. I really want to finish..... but I'm trying to be kind and nice. I'm about ready to try to haul the ladder in myself. Anyone wanna help?

I'm in the mood to clean. Actually... I had caffeine today... so I'm in the mood to move and get busy... so therefore I am cleaning. The good thing is not only does it serve a purpose of a cleaner home... it also burns mucho calories if I keep moving quick. I don't like to go slow. I like to time myself... (I don't slack and do a bad job cuz that WOULD BOTHER ME TOO... I do the job right... but in a hurried fashion) Burn baby Burn!!

Well folks... tomorrow is Monday (not Wednesday)
Have a happy and healthy day!
Love Always,
Amberly

On track and on target

Things are going pleasantly. This is Day 3 back on my re-focused plan. I've already dropped some weight and I really feel loads better. My only complaint is that I am struggling with headaches. It's not to bad though.
Oh yeah... and for some reason today I am seriously hungry.

Thanks to everyone for your wonderful comments.  It's great to know that I am loved and missed, and let me tell you I genuinely share the same feelings for all of you. And M... I have been craving chicken wings also.... I had them about 5 times in the last two weeks.... I even had a few yesterday.

And anotherFATgirl..... I am totally digging all the clothing that you have been posting. I do the same things... (well I have yet to post them)

About a month ago I was at a sporting goods store and I found these nice Adidas track/running suits. I've always wanted to wear them, however ... my stomach (aka Gertrude) doesn't allow me to be comfortable in them... So I think I would like this to be my goal. When I reach 210 or maybe 200 I'd like to buy this for myself..

Anyways.... that's all I have for now. Take care! Tomorrow is Friday!
Love Always,
Amberly

And that's how I got out of jail.....

I've disappeared... actually it was the most amazing thing... I was kidnapped. I told my captor that I just had to blog because I needed to stay accountable and I really want to win at this weight loss thing and I'm not a failure... Well... Then I was taken on this roller coaster of a ride.... physically and emotionally... It all started after my last post. I told you that I was dreading my trip to Arkansas.... well.... I literally finished typing my last entry and then my dad showed up we packed my gear and my good food... I got into the truck to start driving and was met face to face with temptation.... a yummy chocolatey custard filled donut. Now if you remember my last post (I'll give you a moment to go back and read it...) I was talking about how I was preparing myself so that I would have a good trip and not eat everything in site... and if you read it you get the vibe that I was strong willed and knew what I was doing.... so then you may ask when faced with my temptation what did I do? You don't have to ask silly.... I downed that mother in 6 seconds flat...

And that was just the start of it all. I started feeling bad... and I was driving so it's not like I could just whip out my salad and eat... so we pull into a Chik-fil-A.... and I had chicken nuggets and french fries drowned with Chik-Fil-A sauce.... don't worry thought I had an unsweet tea (because I'm health conscious). Then I continued driving like there was no tomorrow. I had some peanut butter filled pretzel bites and sometime after that I downed my first candy bar... then my second.... and then many hours later my third. (Remember I was captured... this was all forced). We get to the Arkansas state line with about 5 hours left to drive and I get Subway (I know I'm shocked too). Once we got there we got to sleep for about 5 hours and then we hit the town (I only had about 24 hours before I was to fly out). For lunch we had mexican food... holy gaucamole! It was delish.... and for dinner we went to Outback Steakhouse.... I ordered my normal huge salad and a quesadilla.

Next morning I got up and cooked food. This is it... time for the healthy food. I made scrambled eggs... sausage links... and biscuits and gravy. Heavenly... but not healthy. I packed my bags and we went shopping. On our way to the airport... I stupid downed this reeces peanut butter candy bar (only cuz I've never tried it before) and made myself sick... so what do I fix that with? Taco Bell. Once upon a time ago I use to be addicted to the stuff... the past 5 or 6 years I wouldn't really touch it... Now all I can crave is Taco Bell... I think I woke a sleeping monster.

I got back that Sunday evening ( 1 week 2 days ago) and it's been down hill ever since. (And you thought that was the end of my story?) I've consumed Taco Bell 3 more times, Chik-Fil-A twice, Papa Johns, Buffalo wild Wings, and other things. The truth is my captor is the old me. It slipped in and took over and I let myself go willingly... I didn't put up a fight... I just submitted to new leadership. What is interesting is that I have my comfort zone. When I'm home I can stick to my plan. I don't bring food that I know will mess me up into the house. This really is my safe zone. I always mess up when I leave town... or when I get off my routine (like nor preparing and having to eat out) This isn't an excuse... I'm just recognizing patterns. I need to be more aware when I leave home... and keep close tabs on my diet. I want to win at this thing... not hide scared and afraid that I may not be able to handle the big bad world... so I need to take baby steps. Home is my safe haven... but I need to make sure that I can handle things when I'm out and about.

I'm grown... I know how to make smart decisions...
I'm strong.... I don't need to fall victim to my old ways
I love me... I need to start showing it and taking care of myself

If there is any good news out of this whole thing it is..... I'm back and taking this as a lesson learned.

On a side note: I stepped on the scale this morning I weigh 221. Which is nice since a few days ago I was like 228.. So as of right now I'm just a few more pounds than I was down to. I'm also refocusing. Starting back at square 1 with the my diet. Throwing out the stuff I don't want to eat (like taco bell, chik-fil-a pizza), and reclaiming the things I love (grapefruits, kielbasa with peppers, curry chicken).... I'm throwing out all this processed garbage.... I want to feel the way I felt when I was on my gym streak and eating all the right things. I felt like a million bucks.... I didn't feel sluggish (and dare I say big)... I felt like and athlete again. I love that feeling. I like being fit. I like treating my body well.

Watch out world... here I come

I'm leavin..... on a jet plane....

Well.... I have an unexpected trip today. Well.... I knew it was coming up but I've been dreading it really. I'm helping my dad drive to Arkansas (give it up for my home state) and then I'm flying back on Sunday. I'm not bringing my laptop though.... I'll have my iPhone.... so I can still keep tabs on all you guys and make sure you are not slacking!!!

So even though I was dreading it.... the only thing that I did prepare is I went to Target and got this awesome pre-made salad for the road. I'm hoping to stop by there a little later and get a few more if they have them. My issue with driving is that I never eat right..... and the reason I do not eat right is I'm pressured by the other driver (who shall remain nameless...DAD) he is always telling me it's just for now... we can eat healthy when we get to AR.... and blah blah blah.... Well me and temptation don't really see eye to eye.... and well it beats me... I tried getting a restraining order but to no avail. So... this time I am prepared.

So of you may be thinking... well there are healthier options at Fast Food places.... at least you could get that if you really had too.... I say yuck... lol... I've tried them before.. and with exception to Chik-Fil-A I just completely stay away from fast food places. I've tried the grilled chicken at several places (except BK which I heard is pretty good... so maybe I'll test it out we'll see) but it always makes me sick to my stomach. I just do not like the taste... so I do what I do with soda.... if I can't have the real thing.... I won't eat it at all. It really works for me as long as I plan.... I have to plan to bring snacks with me otherwise I end up going hungry and it's not a pretty sight.

Anyone have and good options for the road for me? I've got my salad, a few cheese sticks. Hopefully I'll get a couple more salads. I also have a few of the Kashi granola bars.... that way I don't resort to candy bars cuz we all know how those taste (and why I can't have them). I also will buy water out on the road. My husband made me soup... so I'll take that in a thermos.

I'm gonna go finish packing my weekend bag. I hope everyone has a nice weekend.
Happy, Healthy and full of good decisions!
Love Always,
Amberly

Highs and Fumes

Have you ever brought a can of paint home and decided to put it on a spot on the wall 'just to see' how it looks..... and then 6 hours later have the whole room nearly finished? Well... if you are like me then this happens to you quite often. Sometimes I go and do radical and spontaneous things for the rush..... and being the safe kinda person I am.... painting walls is pretty high on the list!

Thanks everyone for their awesome comments on my progress. I'm pretty pysched!!! Want more great news?

I lost more weight!!!!!!

1.8lbs to be exact! And I got a new badge :o) Ain't it purrdy

If I keep this up now I will definitely enter 2011 at my goal weight. However I have a great feeling I will be at my goal sooner than that. No matter what I've really got a great attitude about all this. I'm loving my life right now.

Have you guys ever heard the Miley Cyrus song 'The Climb'.... if you haven't I'll indulge you by posting the lyrics :o)

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

This is the meat of the song.... They reapeat the chorus several times and add in some Whoas but this is the main words. Kind of inspiring huh. At least I thought so. In a nutshell... this is about the journey. I know I'm gonna struggle and have my bad days.... days when the scale doesn't move.... times when I don't go to the gym (going on 5 days now... I know I'm just horrible).... but I'm gonna get a lot more great days... days when a stranger bats an eye at me..... days when I look in the mirror and think 'Wait where did the fat go' (yes I do have my moments).... days when I'm laying down trying to figure out what is protruding out of the side of my ass only to realize I actually do have hip bones...... moments when I'm trying on clothing only to realize that I no longer fit and need to go down a size.....  I gotta take in these moments.... take time to learn how to heal from past mistakes....makes sure that this is my life not just a fly by night diet..... and always make sure that I'm smiling.

So today I was eating a donut ... (yeah I know ... no lie....  an old habit of not bringing anything to eat with me to work cuz I thought I'd probably have time to get something when in fact it was one of those days I got slammed and didn't even have a chance to breath.... ) Why I grabbed a donut really beats me... It was just sitting there ... only one thank God... and I ate it. Twenty minutes later I felt like crap. I wasn't feeling guilty.... which is surprising for me... I knew I could have it because it was in my calorie budget.... I felt horrible because I've been eating such great home cooked food that is healthy for me... and my body was literally sayin "Really Amber... what are you thinking.... no lunch and then this bombshell.... Really are we back to this now" I have to admit in a sick and twisted way I was really happy my body reacted the way it did. That chemically-made artery-stopping sin disguised as sweet goodness shouldn't have entered this 'temple o'mine'

Ya know I was so excited about Biggest Loser up until today when I got slammed with work... then forgot about it until this moment... This is what you get when you enter my world. It's not quite normal... but where is the fun in that anyway?

Anyhow... I shall sign off now. I'm feeling pretty great.... (could be from the paint fumes... as I did paint the computer room....)  I hope everyone has a great middle of the week.... wednesday.... hump day....
Love Always,
Amberly

February Results Are In!!!

The Results are in!!!!

Amberly's Measurments
	Jan	Feb	Totals
Weight	222	220.2	-1.8
Waist	47	45	-2
Abs	43	41.5	-1.5
Hips	47	45.5	-1.5
Chest	49	46	-3
Below Chest	43	42	-1
R Thigh	27	26.5	-0.5
L Thigh	27	26	-1
R Arm	15.5	15.5	0
L Arm	15	15	0
R Calf	17.5	17.5	0
L Calf	17.5	17.5	0
Neck	17	16.25	-0.75
			-11.25

Do you guys see that???? I lost 11.25 inches off my body... (but only 1.8lbs for the whole month?!?!?!) This is just another reminder of how we should always look for success everywhere.... not just count on the scale.
I'm so stoked! I can't wait until next months results are in!!!

Other news.....
Wow.... I mist be a great liar (is that a good thing or a bad thing?) Cuz none of ya'll guessed my truth! Truth is there was a little bit of truth in a few of them:

1. I got to travel around the world after high school graduation. 

Okay this one was a complete lie....

2. My first tattoo I ever got was a heart with wings, and a soccer ball with a sunflare with the words 'Dulce Angelita' in between them.

I truly planned out this whole tattoo.... but I hate needles and would have never really brought myself to do this! Now I'm glad I didn't.... cuz gaining weight... and then losing weight it wouldn't look too good.... and then when I got older..... glad I hate needles man!

3. I was born in Italy and came here when I was 6 months old.

This was one of my best friends a while back ago. Not me though!

4. I was on American Idol's Hollywood week in 2006, but sadly was sent home after Simon made me cry. Bold face lie... but I know he woulda made me cry.

5. I participated in the USA vs. Australia Track meet that took place in Surfer's Paradise, Australia in 2002. THIS IS MY TRUTH!!! Right after I graduated I got invited to go and participate in the track meet and we even got to stop in Hawaii on the way back! Nobody guess it!!!

6. I was born as a twin, but my brother didn't survive birth.

I was not born a twin, my brother was... but his twin (which woulda been my other brother) didn't survive. We didn't even know my mom was pregnant with twins... it's a weird long story.



7. I won a corvette through a radio station once, I was 16 so my dad actually had to claim it We were gonna sell it the next day so I took it out for a test drive and ended up totalling it when I hit a tree after I lost control. I walked away from the accident and the cops came after me for leaving the scene of a crime... This is absolutely true... except about the part of it happening to me. It happened to a kid that I sort of new by association. I would like to think at 16 I would've been more wiser .... not to walk away from the scene of a crime lol!!


I hope everyone had a great weekend! Mine was pretty good... except I went over on the calories 2 days in a row!!! It wasn't just 20 or 50 or 100... one day it was +322 and the other it was +740 .... no comment.... However I got on the scale this morning... and I'm down... and it's soooooooooo nice... but I can't "officially" announce it until tomorrow. (Don't ya just love me for that)


Other GREAT NEWS.... BIGGEST LOSER WILL BE BACK TOMORROW NIGHT. Now I think I need to write a letter to NBC and let them know just how much Biggest Loser is a part of my regime.... They need to understand that when something important like Olympics... Presidential speeches... or what have you come on in place of my show.... they need to figure out how to keep BL on... maybe show it at a different time or something. Okay I know I know... but it seriously keeps me motivated. In fact I record the episodes and watch them again.... I keep them over the summer (my fave episodes) since they don't show any over the summer months... and then I catch the reruns....

Well guys.. that's it for the time being. I've got 2 awards to post in the upcoming days... so be looking out... I could nominate you!
More lata
Love Always,
Amberly