The Beginning

Monday, March 29, 2010

Taking one day at a time

I'm trying desperately to get focused again. Stop....
Now I'm at a writer's block.

I want to tell you that I've been really down lately and that I can't find anything or anyone to "Pick me up"
I want to tell you that I fought with myself yesterday from eating until my hearts content.... (thank goodness I don't keep crap in my house other wise I would have lost :o(

I really don't know what wrong with me. Yesterday I was playing PS3 all day and I just thought to myself... I need to get back on my routine and start making daily goals. I need to take this one day at a time right now.
Good news... I weighed myself this morning and I'm 219. I was dreading it being higher and then me wallowing in the fact that I've completely backtracked. But I didn't.

I bought the Insanity Workout system. It looks awesome. I started the fit test and I couldn't even finish the other half and I was so sore! I'm going to attempt it again and get revin' on it. I like the idea of a workout that you just use your body and no other equipment. I feel like it's things that I can learn so that I can do them anywhere.

Also I've been playing soccer every week. I even played twice last week. I'm starting to get into my groove and I had a lot of the players telling me that I should try out for a team. That made me feel really good. Last Wednesday when we played they divided up the teams and some of my players were like 'no we don't need that many people on defense... Amber's a really good defender' I really felt awesome! It feels so good to do something well and knowing that my team can rely on me.

The 5k was this past Saturday..... I just remembered. I'm still going to train for a 5k, but I think I shall take a little more time in training. I was right on schedule for the first two weeks of my training... then as you know I disappeared for 2 weeks.

April is right around the corner and it feels to me like a fresh start.

I hope everyone is having a happy and healthy day!
Love Always,

Monday, March 22, 2010

Checkin' In

Dang... all day has felt like a Tuesday.... I did 'Sunday' things that I usually do every Sunday... but up until this point I was going to report to you on how my Tuesday was. I'd like to blame that on the fact that I knocked my head on the ground a little too hard while playing soccer on Saturday... however I make these mistakes all the time. At least it's good to know that I don't have brain damage.

Anyhow... I seriously was thinking that today was Tuesday. I was going to write about how this morning my "Tuesday Weight" is 217.4! Then I was going to tell you how I went off my plan a little today because it was Tuesday. I promise.... I'm not smokin' anything!

Well with all that being said I hope everyone had a nice Sunday. I've played soccer for the past two days. I didn't get that much of a work out in though... I played with all guys... which means basically... they are all ball hogs. And what happens when you fight for the ball you might ask? A possible concussion. Actually I was the last defender and I was guarding the goal ( when we play a small scrimage we use the smaller goals without a goalie. Normally the last defender acts as a goalie but can't use hands). So this guy comes running with the ball at my left side and there wasn't a defender in sight... so I step out, ran toward him and with my right leg kicked the ball out.... well with his right leg he kicked both of my feet out from under me. I was falling on my back so I balled my back up for the impact... except his leg was there... so my back landed on his leg and caused my neck and head to whip lash and I hit the ground hard. I had to lay there for a second. Everyone was like OHHHH are you okay. Instead of answering them I started think to myself...  'I'm okay.... yeah you're okay... okay let's get up... ohh that hurts... okay can I stand up.... who's the idiot that did this... I'm okay'  Let's just say I had a bad headache... and my neck is still a little sore and stiff.

Good news though.... after playing on Saturday they asked me to consider playing on their Monday night team of 8 on 8. Which is awesome. Right now I play Adult pick up soccer... there is no commitment. I didn't want to bite off more than I can chew ya know. Now I'm seriously thinking about it. We shall see. My original plan was to join a team in the fall.

Other news... I'm bummed because I thought Biggest Loser was on tonight (see above with the whole 'Tuesday' fiasco)

I haven't been on writing very much. About 3 weeks ago I started painting my computer room. I got it all almost done in about 2 days.... Well... my hubby has to bring the ladder in for me so I can cut in the ceiling.. (I'm a perfectionist... trust me IT WILL BOTHER ME) The ceilings are about 14ft tall. So basically I am sitting at a computer desk in the middle of the room surrounded by paint supplies.... while all my office stuff has taken a new habitat in my dinning room and craft room. I really want to finish..... but I'm trying to be kind and nice. I'm about ready to try to haul the ladder in myself. Anyone wanna help?

I'm in the mood to clean. Actually... I had caffeine today... so I'm in the mood to move and get busy... so therefore I am cleaning. The good thing is not only does it serve a purpose of a cleaner home... it also burns mucho calories if I keep moving quick. I don't like to go slow. I like to time myself... (I don't slack and do a bad job cuz that WOULD BOTHER ME TOO... I do the job right... but in a hurried fashion) Burn baby Burn!!

Well folks... tomorrow is Monday (not Wednesday)
Have a happy and healthy day!
Love Always,

Thursday, March 18, 2010

On track and on target

Things are going pleasantly. This is Day 3 back on my re-focused plan. I've already dropped some weight and I really feel loads better. My only complaint is that I am struggling with headaches. It's not to bad though.
Oh yeah... and for some reason today I am seriously hungry.

Thanks to everyone for your wonderful comments.  It's great to know that I am loved and missed, and let me tell you I genuinely share the same feelings for all of you. And M... I have been craving chicken wings also.... I had them about 5 times in the last two weeks.... I even had a few yesterday.

And anotherFATgirl..... I am totally digging all the clothing that you have been posting. I do the same things... (well I have yet to post them)

About a month ago I was at a sporting goods store and I found these nice Adidas track/running suits. I've always wanted to wear them, however ... my stomach (aka Gertrude) doesn't allow me to be comfortable in them... So I think I would like this to be my goal. When I reach 210 or maybe 200 I'd like to buy this for myself..

Anyways.... that's all I have for now. Take care! Tomorrow is Friday!
Love Always,

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

And that's how I got out of jail.....

I've disappeared... actually it was the most amazing thing... I was kidnapped. I told my captor that I just had to blog because I needed to stay accountable and I really want to win at this weight loss thing and I'm not a failure... Well... Then I was taken on this roller coaster of a ride.... physically and emotionally... It all started after my last post. I told you that I was dreading my trip to Arkansas.... well.... I literally finished typing my last entry and then my dad showed up we packed my gear and my good food... I got into the truck to start driving and was met face to face with temptation.... a yummy chocolatey custard filled donut. Now if you remember my last post (I'll give you a moment to go back and read it...) I was talking about how I was preparing myself so that I would have a good trip and not eat everything in site... and if you read it you get the vibe that I was strong willed and knew what I was doing.... so then you may ask when faced with my temptation what did I do? You don't have to ask silly.... I downed that mother in 6 seconds flat...

And that was just the start of it all. I started feeling bad... and I was driving so it's not like I could just whip out my salad and eat... so we pull into a Chik-fil-A.... and I had chicken nuggets and french fries drowned with Chik-Fil-A sauce.... don't worry thought I had an unsweet tea (because I'm health conscious). Then I continued driving like there was no tomorrow. I had some peanut butter filled pretzel bites and sometime after that I downed my first candy bar... then my second.... and then many hours later my third. (Remember I was captured... this was all forced). We get to the Arkansas state line with about 5 hours left to drive and I get Subway (I know I'm shocked too). Once we got there we got to sleep for about 5 hours and then we hit the town (I only had about 24 hours before I was to fly out). For lunch we had mexican food... holy gaucamole! It was delish.... and for dinner we went to Outback Steakhouse.... I ordered my normal huge salad and a quesadilla.

Next morning I got up and cooked food. This is it... time for the healthy food. I made scrambled eggs... sausage links... and biscuits and gravy. Heavenly... but not healthy. I packed my bags and we went shopping. On our way to the airport... I stupid downed this reeces peanut butter candy bar (only cuz I've never tried it before) and made myself sick... so what do I fix that with? Taco Bell. Once upon a time ago I use to be addicted to the stuff... the past 5 or 6 years I wouldn't really touch it... Now all I can crave is Taco Bell... I think I woke a sleeping monster.

I got back that Sunday evening ( 1 week 2 days ago) and it's been down hill ever since. (And you thought that was the end of my story?) I've consumed Taco Bell 3 more times, Chik-Fil-A twice, Papa Johns, Buffalo wild Wings, and other things. The truth is my captor is the old me. It slipped in and took over and I let myself go willingly... I didn't put up a fight... I just submitted to new leadership. What is interesting is that I have my comfort zone. When I'm home I can stick to my plan. I don't bring food that I know will mess me up into the house. This really is my safe zone. I always mess up when I leave town... or when I get off my routine (like nor preparing and having to eat out) This isn't an excuse... I'm just recognizing patterns. I need to be more aware when I leave home... and keep close tabs on my diet. I want to win at this thing... not hide scared and afraid that I may not be able to handle the big bad world... so I need to take baby steps. Home is my safe haven... but I need to make sure that I can handle things when I'm out and about.

I'm grown... I know how to make smart decisions...
I'm strong.... I don't need to fall victim to my old ways
I love me... I need to start showing it and taking care of myself

If there is any good news out of this whole thing it is..... I'm back and taking this as a lesson learned.

On a side note: I stepped on the scale this morning I weigh 221. Which is nice since a few days ago I was like 228.. So as of right now I'm just a few more pounds than I was down to. I'm also refocusing. Starting back at square 1 with the my diet. Throwing out the stuff I don't want to eat (like taco bell, chik-fil-a pizza), and reclaiming the things I love (grapefruits, kielbasa with peppers, curry chicken).... I'm throwing out all this processed garbage.... I want to feel the way I felt when I was on my gym streak and eating all the right things. I felt like a million bucks.... I didn't feel sluggish (and dare I say big)... I felt like and athlete again. I love that feeling. I like being fit. I like treating my body well.

Watch out world... here I come

Friday, March 05, 2010

I'm leavin..... on a jet plane....

Well.... I have an unexpected trip today. Well.... I knew it was coming up but I've been dreading it really. I'm helping my dad drive to Arkansas (give it up for my home state) and then I'm flying back on Sunday. I'm not bringing my laptop though.... I'll have my iPhone.... so I can still keep tabs on all you guys and make sure you are not slacking!!!

So even though I was dreading it.... the only thing that I did prepare is I went to Target and got this awesome pre-made salad for the road. I'm hoping to stop by there a little later and get a few more if they have them. My issue with driving is that I never eat right..... and the reason I do not eat right is I'm pressured by the other driver (who shall remain nameless...DAD) he is always telling me it's just for now... we can eat healthy when we get to AR.... and blah blah blah.... Well me and temptation don't really see eye to eye.... and well it beats me... I tried getting a restraining order but to no avail. So... this time I am prepared.

So of you may be thinking... well there are healthier options at Fast Food places.... at least you could get that if you really had too.... I say yuck... lol... I've tried them before.. and with exception to Chik-Fil-A I just completely stay away from fast food places. I've tried the grilled chicken at several places (except BK which I heard is pretty good... so maybe I'll test it out we'll see) but it always makes me sick to my stomach. I just do not like the taste... so I do what I do with soda.... if I can't have the real thing.... I won't eat it at all. It really works for me as long as I plan.... I have to plan to bring snacks with me otherwise I end up going hungry and it's not a pretty sight.

Anyone have and good options for the road for me? I've got my salad, a few cheese sticks. Hopefully I'll get a couple more salads. I also have a few of the Kashi granola bars.... that way I don't resort to candy bars cuz we all know how those taste (and why I can't have them). I also will buy water out on the road. My husband made me soup... so I'll take that in a thermos.

I'm gonna go finish packing my weekend bag. I hope everyone has a nice weekend.
Happy, Healthy and full of good decisions!
Love Always,

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Highs and Fumes

Have you ever brought a can of paint home and decided to put it on a spot on the wall 'just to see' how it looks..... and then 6 hours later have the whole room nearly finished? Well... if you are like me then this happens to you quite often. Sometimes I go and do radical and spontaneous things for the rush..... and being the safe kinda person I am.... painting walls is pretty high on the list!

Thanks everyone for their awesome comments on my progress. I'm pretty pysched!!! Want more great news?
I lost more weight!!!!!!
1.8lbs to be exact! And I got a new badge :o) Ain't it purrdy

If I keep this up now I will definitely enter 2011 at my goal weight. However I have a great feeling I will be at my goal sooner than that. No matter what I've really got a great attitude about all this. I'm loving my life right now.

Have you guys ever heard the Miley Cyrus song 'The Climb'.... if you haven't I'll indulge you by posting the lyrics :o)

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

This is the meat of the song.... They reapeat the chorus several times and add in some Whoas but this is the main words. Kind of inspiring huh. At least I thought so. In a nutshell... this is about the journey. I know I'm gonna struggle and have my bad days.... days when the scale doesn't move.... times when I don't go to the gym (going on 5 days now... I know I'm just horrible).... but I'm gonna get a lot more great days... days when a stranger bats an eye at me..... days when I look in the mirror and think 'Wait where did the fat go' (yes I do have my moments).... days when I'm laying down trying to figure out what is protruding out of the side of my ass only to realize I actually do have hip bones...... moments when I'm trying on clothing only to realize that I no longer fit and need to go down a size.....  I gotta take in these moments.... take time to learn how to heal from past mistakes....makes sure that this is my life not just a fly by night diet..... and always make sure that I'm smiling.

So today I was eating a donut ... (yeah I know ... no lie....  an old habit of not bringing anything to eat with me to work cuz I thought I'd probably have time to get something when in fact it was one of those days I got slammed and didn't even have a chance to breath.... ) Why I grabbed a donut really beats me... It was just sitting there ... only one thank God... and I ate it. Twenty minutes later I felt like crap. I wasn't feeling guilty.... which is surprising for me... I knew I could have it because it was in my calorie budget.... I felt horrible because I've been eating such great home cooked food that is healthy for me... and my body was literally sayin "Really Amber... what are you thinking.... no lunch and then this bombshell.... Really are we back to this now" I have to admit in a sick and twisted way I was really happy my body reacted the way it did. That chemically-made artery-stopping sin disguised as sweet goodness shouldn't have entered this 'temple o'mine'

Ya know I was so excited about Biggest Loser up until today when I got slammed with work... then forgot about it until this moment... This is what you get when you enter my world. It's not quite normal... but where is the fun in that anyway?

Anyhow... I shall sign off now. I'm feeling pretty great.... (could be from the paint fumes... as I did paint the computer room....)  I hope everyone has a great middle of the week.... wednesday.... hump day....
Love Always,

Monday, March 01, 2010

February Results Are In!!!

The Results are in!!!!

Amberly's Measurments 

Jan Feb Totals
Weight 222 220.2 -1.8
Waist 47 45 -2
Abs 43 41.5 -1.5
Hips 47 45.5 -1.5
Chest 49 46 -3
Below Chest 43 42 -1
R Thigh 27 26.5 -0.5
L Thigh 27 26 -1
R Arm 15.5 15.5 0
L Arm 15 15 0
R Calf 17.5 17.5 0
L Calf 17.5 17.5 0
Neck 17 16.25 -0.75


Do you guys see that???? I lost 11.25 inches off my body... (but only 1.8lbs for the whole month?!?!?!) This is just another reminder of how we should always look for success everywhere.... not just count on the scale.
I'm so stoked! I can't wait until next months results are in!!!

Other news.....
Wow.... I mist be a great liar (is that a good thing or a bad thing?) Cuz none of ya'll guessed my truth! Truth is there was a little bit of truth in a few of them:

1. I got to travel around the world after high school graduation. 
Okay this one was a complete lie....

2. My first tattoo I ever got was a heart with wings, and a soccer ball with a sunflare with the words 'Dulce Angelita' in between them.
I truly planned out this whole tattoo.... but I hate needles and would have never really brought myself to do this! Now I'm glad I didn't.... cuz gaining weight... and then losing weight it wouldn't look too good.... and then when I got older..... glad I hate needles man!

3. I was born in Italy and came here when I was 6 months old.
This was one of my best friends a while back ago. Not me though!

4. I was on American Idol's Hollywood week in 2006, but sadly was sent home after Simon made me cry. Bold face lie... but I know he woulda made me cry.

5. I participated in the USA vs. Australia Track meet that took place in Surfer's Paradise, Australia in 2002. THIS IS MY TRUTH!!! Right after I graduated I got invited to go and participate in the track meet and we even got to stop in Hawaii on the way back! Nobody guess it!!!

6. I was born as a twin, but my brother didn't survive birth.
I was not born a twin, my brother was... but his twin (which woulda been my other brother) didn't survive. We didn't even know my mom was pregnant with twins... it's a weird long story.

7. I won a corvette through a radio station once, I was 16 so my dad actually had to claim it We were gonna sell it the next day so I took it out for a test drive and ended up totalling it when I hit a tree after I lost control. I walked away from the accident and the cops came after me for leaving the scene of a crime... This is absolutely true... except about the part of it happening to me. It happened to a kid that I sort of new by association. I would like to think at 16 I would've been more wiser .... not to walk away from the scene of a crime lol!!

I hope everyone had a great weekend! Mine was pretty good... except I went over on the calories 2 days in a row!!! It wasn't just 20 or 50 or 100... one day it was +322 and the other it was +740 .... no comment.... However I got on the scale this morning... and I'm down... and it's soooooooooo nice... but I can't "officially" announce it until tomorrow. (Don't ya just love me for that)

Other GREAT NEWS.... BIGGEST LOSER WILL BE BACK TOMORROW NIGHT. Now I think I need to write a letter to NBC and let them know just how much Biggest Loser is a part of my regime.... They need to understand that when something important like Olympics... Presidential speeches... or what have you come on in place of my show.... they need to figure out how to keep BL on... maybe show it at a different time or something. Okay I know I know... but it seriously keeps me motivated. In fact I record the episodes and watch them again.... I keep them over the summer (my fave episodes) since they don't show any over the summer months... and then I catch the reruns....

Well guys.. that's it for the time being. I've got 2 awards to post in the upcoming days... so be looking out... I could nominate you!
More lata
Love Always,