The Beginning

Thursday, October 27, 2011

All or nothing

I must say that I had fallen by the way side. A lot has happened since my last post, as I am sure I will explain in more posts to come. The last few weeks, I have been wanting to start writing on my blog again. The reason I haven't is because I have felt like a failure. I didn't want to post about something I'm going to do, and then not do it. So this morning I was sitting in the suana at the gym (sweating out the fat) when it dawns on me that I have a 'ALL OR NOTHING' attitude... and I had better lose it quick.

In fact this morning I had wanted to get to the gym to start a new class.... however I overslept and was late about 10 minutes and I'm not about to join a class late as a new member.... Normally I would have rolled back over to sleep and thought 'next time'... I got up and went to the gym and worked out on some of the machines. So many times I will plan to do something and put forth all the effort to get ready for it... and then when it arrives I end up not doing it... and just dissappointing myself.

I was trying to figure out where I got this 'ALL OR NOTHING' attitude from and I think it comes from trying to be a perfectionist. I can also see where this is hurting me in my eating habits... typically (like a lot of other people apparently) when I eat something that I know I shouldn't it leads me down a path of a lot of bad decisions. By the time I am done I have made a 1000, 2000, 3000 calorie mistake.... and if I would've just accepted the fact that I did have something in the beginning and moved on.... then it would have only been a 200 or 300 calorie mistake. How is it that I allow myself to sabatoge myself?

Anyways, I'm back... I've been on track for the last 3 weeks. I've been getting my butt up at 4:30.... errr my husband has been getting my butt up at 4:30 in the morning to go to the gym and work out. I'm really feeling the changes. I'm really feeling great (except at 4:30 in the morning... then more sleep would be great).

Much much more to come
Love Always,

Monday, May 09, 2011

Quick check in

Just wanted to let you know I'm alive!
I went back to my weight watchers meeting after being absent for a few months..... I've lost 12 lbs since February...... Ofcourse you know I told all those people the truth so they wouldn't think I had some magic secret...... But I can still be proud that a loss is a loss and I reached my 5% goal. My next personal goal is to get under that darn 200...... I keep getting close and then going up a little.

I've decided to go back and revisit my goals I've set for myself and create a few more. I don't feel like my life is heading in the right direction..... I'm now 27 and I don't have a lot to show for it. I just finished a book called 'A million bucks by 30' by Alan Corey...... Lemme just say I feel very very very behind. I definitely ain't a millionaire and with all these hospital visits I'm quickly going in the wrong direction!

I saw a book that I want to read called the 'Happiness Project'... From what I read the girl try out all these different things that are suppose to make you happy. Something about the book speaks to me...... I think it's the act of doing things in a positive light. I'm not sure more on that later.

It's Monday, hopefully the start of an awesome week!
Have a healthy and happy day!
Love always,

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Rough Week

Can't believe it's been a week since I last posted. I've been on checking up and reading other blogs.... Trying to get inspired. Up until yesterday I haven't had any energy. I've been laying around resting and not getting much done at all.

Well I weighed in and....... 202.2!
I was hoping to be in one-derland this week but I still had a loss.

I'm feeling really good now. I still have some stomach issues but it's becoming less noticeable. I'm going to start walking on the treadmill. I think that walking will help me rebuild enough strength so I can start adding in other exercises and help me get enough burn going that I'll have a daily calorie loss.

Well more lata
Have a happy and healthy one!
Love Always

Thursday, April 07, 2011

The verdict is in.....



Still a loss! I've been 202 for a couple of days now. Not too bad at all I haven't been at this weight since July 2009. And I had a bit of an emotional breakdown and went from the 190s to the 220s where I have stayed until now. Well I'd like to forever be out of the 200s.

A change has come over me since I've been out of the hospital. I don't think/crave/worry about food anymore. I'll feel my tummy rumble and then I'm like 'oh let me get something to eat' I get a small something (I don't stuff myself anymore) and then move on to other things. It seems like before all I did was think about food. I also was constantly craving chocolate and ice cream...... It's been a month and I haven't had any candy, cookies, ice cream, chocolate (well I've had sugar free chocolate pudding if that really counts). I still have some stuff in my pantry and I see it but have no feeling or emotion about it. Before if would be like I could already taste it and I would walk out of the kitchen and continue thinking about it until I finally got it. Was I sick or what? Seriously that has to make me an addict or something. I don't want to have a food problem..... I want to enjoy food and move on. Am I cured? Has my hospital visit killed this addiction? I kind of doubt it (don't want to though). I think I'm not craving the sugar because it's been out of my system for so long. I'm going to be watching this and tracking my food.

Hope everyone else is having a great day! Happy and healthy one to all!
Love Always,


Feeling much better as each day goes by. I am going to start walking since that is the only kind of exercise I can do right now. My stomach is still really tender and I'm still getting winded if I do a little too much than I am ready for. I was so bummed.... On Monday I woke up and I weighed 200.4 and so I figured on Tuesday I would be 199..... well I was 202. I ate a lot more food on Monday than I have been eating though.... Still working on it. I'm still eating a lot less than I use to.... not planning on stretching my stomach out again. I'm excited though.... I'm getting close to the 190's and I haven't been below 192 ever!!! The last two times I got that low... I started gaining.... so my 1st goal is 199.... my second goal 191.... my third goal 180s.

Today I ate 1/2 cup of cherrios with milk and an applesauce. After work I had another applesauce and a chocolate diabetic milkshake (glucerna) and for dinner I had a homemade burger  on a wheat bun and a chicken thigh and leg.

Started watching this show called 'Extreme Couponing' on TLC.... it's such a cool show. I love having coupons when I shop. These people are really extreme. In fact one woman had $1175.00 worth of groceries and after using all her coupons she walked out only paying $51.00. Isn't that awesome. I would do a lot of donating to a food bank with that kind of savings.... because let's face it.... who can eat 50 or 100 boxes of cereal before it expires?!?!?!?! So maybe that's a little extreme but you get the point. It would be nice to not only save a lot of money but to also give to those that need help. I love the idea. Between this and my gardening..... I'll be saving so much money.... and with the weight loss..... I can afford a new wardrobe!!!!

Well that's all for now. Tomorrow is my weigh in day so I will be posting how I've done for the week!
Hope everyone is having a healthy and happy week!
Love Always,

Saturday, April 02, 2011

Building Strength

Wow.... I just decided to fold some laundry, sort out some loads into piles, and I took one to the washer to get it started and I am winded! Let me say though I have come a long way since I was released from the hospital. When I was released it was hard for me to stay standing for very long. In fact I would get winded trying to sing a song!

So my stomach is doing great. And I'm also still losing weight!! However I have had a throbbing, aching pain in my arm. During my hospital stay they inserted a picc line into my arm. Picc stands for peripherally inserted central catheter. This is so they don't have to keep sticking me for blood work or for my IV line etc... Well my arm has been hurting ever since a few days before it was removed. I started doing research online and let me admit I'm a little scared. There are people complaining of the same pain I have. Some saying they have nerve damage, some have had the pain for years, some have even lost mobility in their arms. My arm today feels like it's better than it's been. I've been trying to rest it as much as possible. Hopefully things will turn out well.

I ate a half a cup of cherios with some milk and a half a cup of cinnamon applesauce. I was so full!!!! I love this smaller stomach thing. Its great!
Tomorrow I'm suppose to go out with a friend. She mentioned going to one of my favorite restaurants called Don Pablos. Now Mexican food...... Enchiladas in particular won't go with my stomach anymore. I've been really careful to have nothing fried or nothing too fattening. So I've already decided that I would get the fajitas minus the tortillas. I'm proud of myself.

Thought I would give you guys an update, more lata.
Have a happy and healthy weekend!
Love Always

Thursday, March 31, 2011


Good news they have released me! Let's face it I was starting to feel like a resident there and I can't afford their rent! In fact if I had to stay any longer I was going to ask for an application.... After 15 days I'm sure I would make a great nurse.

So I have been home for two days now. My stomach is great, no pain and I'm processing food almost perfectly...... On the other hand my right arm hurts and aches like crazy. Since I was in the hospital so long they inserted what's called a picc line which is 3 IV ports connected to one line that went inside my arm (between my elbow and armpit) in my vein all the way over to my heart. I thought it was the smartest thing in the world because everytime they needed to take blood work (daily) or give me pain meds (several times daily) and also my IV solution to keep me from dehydration (24/7) I already had the line and they didn't have to stick me a million and a half times. However the last two days it was in, my arm was getting sore..... And now..... It's the only reason I'm still taking any kind of pain medication. I'm watching it closely because I'm ready to go and get it checked out if I need to (I've got this fear it could be a blood clot in my arm).

So more good news........ During my hospital stay I was mostly on no food at all while my pancreas healed. I was on a liquid diet for about 4 days and I was on real food for about 4 days...... Well my stomach shrunk. You know how you hear the gurus tell you that your stomach is the size of your fist..... Well mine is!!! I am being ever so careful not to stretch it out. I don't want to sit down and eat half a pound of food.... Let's face it if I want more of something good I can always wait 3 hours and eat more. I've been doing good too for dinner I had a grilled chicken breast with mushrooms and a little cheese and a sweet potato. For breakfast I had scrambled eggs and 3 bites of pancakes and 1 bite of a sausage link (my husband went out and got Dennys). Yesterday my husband made me a chicken noodle soup Caribbean style and I couldn't even eat a half a cup!

Can you stand for anymore good news? I weighed myself yesterday morning and I weighed 205! And baby I'm going down from here...... I can taste the 100s. I'm already fitting into some shirts that I couldn't a few weeks ago. I don't wanna go back.

Well that is all for now. Thanks for all the supportive comments.
Take care and everyone have a healthy and happy one!
Love Always,

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Day 13

Well I'm still here at the hospital. They started me on a liquid diet yesterday and they may start me on food tomorrow. Once I have food they will monitor me for a few days and then send me home :o)

In the past 13 days I have had less than a cup of food. Besides getting better, the only other nice thing is that I know that I have definitely lost weight. For the next few weeks my diet needs to be liquids, soups, and very low fat foods. What a way to get me a head start lol.

Thanks for the comments
I'll keep ya posted.
Have a healthy and happy day!
Love Always

Friday, March 25, 2011

A really sick girl.

Today marks 10 days........ Of being in the hospital. I went in to the ER for abdominal pain and I knew from past experience that I probably had pancreatitis. Sure enough, and that was the most painful night of my life. Any meds they were able to give me wasn't strong enough and didn't last long enough. I was so dehydrated that I thought I was going to die of thirst. They refused to give me anything except pain meds and an IV. They admitted me immediately and I was sent straight to the intensive care unit (ICU). I was pretty much only conscious when my pain meds wore off. They verified that it was my pancreas and that my blood work up showed that my triglycerides were over 7000. That's not a typo. according to the information I've researched these are triglycerides levels:

Normal - Less than 150 milligrams per deciliter (mg/dL)

Borderline high - 150 to 199 mg/dL

High - 200 to 499 mg/dL

Very high - 500 mg/dL or above

I was extremely dangerously high. In fact I think I shocked many of my doctors. Someone with that high of triglycerides normally means that have a problem with alcohol. That isn't me though. I may have an occasional drink (once a month) but nothing nearly to send my triglycerides high or off the charts as they are.

The doctors recommended that I go through with a procedure called Plasmapheresis. Basically it's just like dialysis, they filtered and cleaned my blood through a machine and put it back in my body. They redid my blood work and found my triglycerides had dropped to just above 300.

I've been in recovery and have had a bit of a set back. I was stomach pain again. My abdomen has a few liquids pockets, but there isn't anything they can do. They are going to continue watching me so that my pancreas doesn't relapse.

This is my third time in 4 years. I've been doing some mad research trying to find out how I got this way and how to prevent it from happening again. Diet and exercise of course, but I've already been doing those things. So more research to do.

Sorry that I haven't been around much. I'm still hanging in there though.
Have a happy and healthy day!
Love always

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Quick Update - more to come

Tomorrow starts my '50 days of fitness' program!!!!! I'm really psyched. I have a gym buddy who is 100% committed..... In 2004 we lost some serious weight together. So tomorrow is the kick off rally and we are gonna sit down with a calendar and plan out our 50 days and stick to it as best we can.

I went for soccer practice last week and I was contemplating whether or not my ankle was ready to handle it. Against my passion for soccer, I decided that it would be best to sit this season out and let my ankle fully heal instead of injuring myself more. (I think this is the biggest grown up decision I've ever had to make) I'm still going to fully exercise and take care of my ankle (unless it hurts obviously) but I know that it can't take the aggression of soccer right now. Let's face it I need to lose a couple of pounds too.

Weight watchers - still truckin along. I didn't post my first week weight loss because I was so upset that I gained a pound...... Well this week has been a horrible week, I ate a few choice things and made a few bad decisions and it's that TOM...... And low and behold I loss 5 lbs! I don't completely understand it. (Note to self: don't make this a habit.... In a normal week you would have gained 5!!)

Love the MTV Show use to be Fat
I'll post my schedule tomorrow
Everyone have a healthy and happy one!
Love Always,

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Onward with my goals... and a little inspiration!

Day 4 - so far so good! I'm starting to feel good. Feeling like I'm making better decisions. 

Well last night after I posted my blog ..... and was suppose to be sleeping..... I started reading a book about gardening.... how to make $10,000 a year from your own backyard. I've always had a passion of growing things. Now... I'm not talking on acres of acres of land and having the mules plow.... and having a sunburned neck all the time.... (like the redneck I was sorta brought up to be, but I digress) I'm talking about having a few small plants and watering them and nurturing them... and maybe even whipping up some kind of food concoction. Well well well.... I got a little bored of the book... and started looking at this magazine called 'Mother Earth News' ... I started subscribing to it last year when I wanted to first start this garden project. There was an article from the Fall 2010 - Guide to living on less and loving it that was titled 'Grow $700 of food in 100 square feet' DUDE.... this was my thing. Basically the woman had decided to take a 5 by 20 ft area (100 sq ft) out of her backyard and plant a few veggies that she likes. Two types of tomatoes, 6 types of bell peppers, 4 types of zucchinis, four basils, and 18 lettuces mostly all romaine lettuce. Here is a picture of what it looked like when she got it planted. She also had added a few flowers for looks.

In one summer she counted and weighed all her harvest and compared prices at the grocery store and she estimated her garden to have produced over $700 and it was all organic! It was 77.5 lbs worth of food (15.5 pounds of bell peppers, 14.3 pounds of lettuce, 2.5 pounds of basil, and 126 zucchinis!). The article also mentioned if that 84 millions US households had a garden in 2009, and if just have of them planted this 100ft garden that would be a national savings on groceries of $14.35 billion! She also brought to light that in one month she harvested 230 servings of salad!   This is the picture after:

Now..... I'm no farmer BROWNE (my last name) but I love my salad.... and I decided that I wanted to plant a garden this year and this article just put it into action. I know for some having a garden isn't an option.... or they may not want to get down and dirty.... but I can spare a few hours outside enjoying the beauty, soaking up some vitamin D the natural way, and harvesting food so that my grocery bill is lower. Love it! Do you know what I could do with an extra $700.. and that was only one season!

The article was out of Mother Earth News Fall 2010. It was by a woman named Rosalind Creasy who has a website ( and she's also published a book (which is next on my list to get) called Edible Landscaping. 

I was so excited last night I think I made a list of about 20 things I'd like to grow... now I know me... and I know that I put way too much on my plate for my own good.... (yes yes... even with food....) so I know that my list will have to shrink a little. We shall see, you never know.

I also forgot to mention that I have 3 lime trees and 1 orange tree on my property that is already producing fruit.... SCORE... I just need to properly prune it this year (yikes) and fertilize it. I will be sure to post pictures of my progress! I gotta start planning now.... I'd like to have all my stuff in by march... and I need to figure out if I want to just plant in the ground... or do a raised bed.

I'm feeling good... I feel like I got some motivation... and I've been struggling for the longest time. More to come
Hope you are having a healthy and happy sunday!
Love Always,
Well..... I am in horrible shape..... Well was until I went to soccer tryouts today. I am in better shape than when I went lol. Actually I was huffing and puffing in the first 5 minutes...... And all we did was a small scrimmage. Normally we play full field. We played only about a 1/4th or less and ughhhhh. But as y'all know I've been working my exercise groove sooooooo.... I feel good things coming. Our first unofficial game is February 1st and the season starts feb 8th. I've got a few weeks to shape up a little.

A girl tried out today who was super fight, super fast, and is better than me at my own position. In fact she was bossing me around on the field and I'm like..... Who the heck are you?......... She's friends with the team captain and a definite shoe-in for the team. I need to work harder.

My ankle...... Woould you believe that in the last 10 minutes a girl hammered a ball right into the side of my ankle?!?!?!?! There was a shooting pain from my ankle all the way to my knee....... Good news it's not swollen and I can walk...... Bad news I started second guessing myself today. I don't want to bring the team down by being on the team. I started questioning if I was ready to take on this aggressive sport.... Let's face it last fall I sprained the ankle at the unofficial game..... And was out all but 3 games of the season..... And now I'm still having problems. I need the exercise and love the exercise but am I doing more harm than good in the long run. Oh and a new thing the coach said which I really like..... Practices are for techniques only..... Not fitness.... We need to work on our own conditioning on our own. A few of the practices last year were an hour and a half of conditioning and maybe 30 minutes of play. The girls even started skipping out on practices because we didn't get to do any ball work. My verdict..... Stick it out and keep working hard...... And lay off the pride.... We are a team for goodness sake.

Weight watchers day 3 accomplished. However even with the soccer I don't feel like I'm losing anything. I'm waiting to weigh-in on Wednesday. In fact I weighed in last Wednesday at home and I was 218 which is good I didn't gain, then I got to WW and the scale said 223.... I hate that but what can you do? So I am boycotting my own scale for a while and trusting in WW abilities to weigh me in.

Today I had an omelet for breakfast.... And then a Linner since soccer practice was all afternoon. I had sushi. I got my pointsplus values for it all and with the earned exercise points it made it great. However I was really hungry like an hour later...MSG anyone? I had a banana with a little peanut butter and the capped me about 5 hours ago. Still not hungry (should be sleeping). But Im not feeling any changes .... I know I know it's only been three days. Oh another thing I think I like is treating myself to my favorites on the weekend..... Within my daily allotted points of course. Yesterday I had Mexican and I had to make a whole lot of changes to what I normally eat. But all in all I'm really liking this so far.

Well Im gonna get some shut eye
Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. Holiday weekend for some (like me)
Love always,

Friday, January 14, 2011


Can't believe that's it's almost been a week since my last post. My laptop is messed up... I think the screen is burnt out... I'm not quite sure. I got an ipad from my brother a few weeks ago... that my husband seems to deem as his own.... so whenever I want to get online and blog.... I have to do it the old fashion way and go to my desktop... lol.

Well I joined WW (Weight Watchers) this week. I think this is like my 4th or 5th time joining. The first time I was 17... and lets face it I didn't want to change my ways... in fact if I still had my old journals around you'd see that I would factor in Dr. Pepper, candy, and we went out to lunch everyday. I remember I would get a Taco Salad from Wendy's and it was 9 points (without the corn chips).... however that was a decade ago.... (apparently I'm getting older?!?!?!?!) The other times I joined WW I was seriously thinking that just by joining it was the magic I needed.... Obviously not....

So here I am. It's the end of day 2... and I'm doing well. This evening though I had mexican food... and my stomach isn't feeling very well. I had to make a bunch of alterations to what I use to eat. What I use to eat was like 44 Points... and then the appetizer (26 points) and chips, salsa and Guac!!!!(12 points)  Holy Moley..... I'm a little ashamed..... but that is why I decided to join WW. I know I have a huge problem with portion control.... and I really like the support system that they have in place. Also... they are constantly improving so that they can help the vast majority.... which means there stuff is just gonna get better and better. Okay, okay.... they aren't paying me to say this...... but it would be nice lol.

Moving on.... TOMORROW..... Soccer tryouts. Since I was on the team last season.... I automatically was asked back this season.... but between me and you (all of you)... I don't think that I would be making tryouts tomorrow. Last season was a bummer because I sprained my ankle and was out for nearly the whole season. I've been doing some stuff to help strengthen my ankle (which has been helpful) but I didn't lose any weight... and I feel as though I am more fat than I was... as if my muscle that I had..... turned into fat :o(
Plus I feel really out of shape. On the flip side.... our first game is in the first week of Feb... so that gives me time.... and it will also force me to improve because I am not gonna wanna be seen as the 'biggest girl on the team' or I don't want the team to feel as though I'm bringing them down.

Last season there was a game in which the coach put me into a different postion along with another girl... and they kept taking us out of the game every 5 or 10 minutes because it was like we couldn't keep up.... I was so embarassed. Then the next game... I was put into a position that I played almost the entire game... and I was helping the team... not hindering them. Point of the matter..... I know I will step up my game and work on conditioning until the season starts.

I hope everyone has a good week. I am gonna go catch up on my blog reading.
Stay tuned to see how soccer goes tomorrow... (at least it won't be hot..... with this stinken cold front)
Have a healthy and happy weekend!
Love Always,

Saturday, January 08, 2011

Getting in Gear

Well I'm trying to find the motivation to get into gear. I have to admit... I've been so lazy! I've been doing some treadmill work like every other day. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've got goals... I've got daily expectations.... but I'm not living up to them now. Arugula!

Okay I promised I would post some pictures of my herbs in containers. There is rosemary, thyme, parsley, chives, oregano, spearmint and another one that is not coming to my mind.

My goals are underway... but I'm having a bit of a problem with eating... I'm eating way too much... and it's because I'm hungry (not mindless eating). I've been thinking about it for a while and I'm considering joining weight watchers. I know that it is a successful program... and I'm thinking it can help assist me with portion control. I've been on Weight watchers before and haven't done so well.... but that's because I wasn't 100% on board with it either. I could see myself looking all nice like Jennifer Hudson in those commercials lol.... I am planning on attending a meeting this Wednesday. The leader of the meeting has been a leader since at least 2001 when I first joined when I was 16 or 17 I believe. She's been there all this time, and she really is a great leader... very inspirational.

I like the idea that you can eat anything, as long as you record it and it's within your daily goal. I was on a diet in 2009... and I was doing awesome on it... it was supervised by the doctor... but it cut out nearly all carbs.... letmetellyou..... you lose tons of weight... but it just comes right back on. If I would've followed the program through... then when I reached my goal weight the doctor would start introducing the healthy whole grain carbs back into my diet.... but I did not. I had a few friends that did it and lost tons of weight, look great and everything.... but I was having problems following through and being strict. I really, as I'm writing this, feel like a fool for not continuing that while it was working for me. But another thing is... when my friends got down to their goal weights... they didn't support me and I felt alone in it. Which is another reason that weight watchers just sounds really great this time... I need to build a support system. I have people in my life that are for me losing weight and being healthy.... but their actions don't help me. I really need to find some people that are on the journey with me.... that can help with accountability.

Well those are my thoughts. I hope everyone is having a lovely weekend.
Take care and stay healthy!
Love Always,

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Goals and Rewards.

I hope everyone had a great 'first Monday of the new year' Unfortunately I did not end up feeling very well. My stomach was/has been/ is upset. Today was a pretty productive day anyhow.

I also want to thank everyone for the comments. It is so nice to have such a wonderful support. I hope that you find my comments in your blogs just as (if not even more) supportive.

So today I was busy running errands, working, house cleaning, figuring out the budget and setting up the finances for the year. I'm happy to say that this year my husband and I should be completely out of debt. We've been working it off now for 2 years so by the end of this year we will be out of the red!!!! (Thanks Dave Ramsey)
Of course, the one thing I didn't do today was exercise. I wanted to do some treadmill work, but my stomach is just not agreeing with anything. In fact, I'm going to make some tea right now to help try to settle it.

So I am finally unpacked from my Vegas trip and I've started on the mountain of laundry that I have been avoiding. I've also started on all the chores that also desperately needed to get done.... It turns out wishing/praying for them to go away doesn't really work.

I also set up my fiances for the year... fun stuff.... Basically I file all the old year, and get the filing system ready for the new year. I print out all these free calendars for the new year, and post them in a spiral bound notebook, along with what we owe, the monthly breakdown of payments, and the weekly breakdown of the funds. I have to admit.... I'm a geek/nerd.... though I do have a free spirit side..... but I just love putting it all down on speadsheets and analyzing how we can save here.... and pay more there..... However I would hate being an accountant. I'm a walking oxymoron I tell ya.

There is a lot that I mentioned that I am planning on posting today. I'm posting my goals, my rewards... and the breakdown of what I need to do daily to lose weight.

My goals for 2011 (so far)

1) Always eat breakfast - I am ashamed to say that after all this time... this is still one of my problems. In fact... I didn't even eat breakfast this morning (sick stomach) Arugula!

2) Eat at home more - I plan on all my breakfasts always at home. The actual problem here lies in the business of my schedule that I always just grab something for lunch and then on the way home grab dinner. And since I am journaling my food..... this is seeming very realistic.

3) Normal Sleep Schedule - I use to work at 10:30am everyday, until about a year ago my office hours changed to 1pm (sometimes 2pm) I get off about 5pm. While those are great office hours.... I am not a morning person.... I am a night owl.... Which means I find myself falling asleep around 3,4,5am and sleeping until 11am or even noon. I want to put a stop to this... I know that it is affecting my ability to lose weight, and the insomnia is utterly annoying.... but more than that it's really affecting my husband. He goes to sleep around 11 or 12 and wakes up at 5 or 6am..... different schedules almost entirely.

4) Plant a Garden - I've been working on this.... but this year I would like to plant some vegetables in the back yard and eat what I sow! Pictures of course to come. I already have planted my herbs in containers on the back patio.

5) Keep track of all my expenses - Obviously with the past two years of getting out of debt.... we have been, for the most part, tracking expenses.... But I'm going to break it down more and figure out just how much I'm spending on eating out. The money I will save in just that category alone will probably be a great starter fund towards a new wardrobe when I lose all this weight at the end of the year (see below for the breakdown)

So far this is what I have for goals that I really want to accomplish. Along with Get out of debt.

Reward System:
This is subject to change obviously... But I at this present moment I couldn't think of things that I may possibly want for rewards. This is what I got so far:

215 - Manicure and Pedicure
210 - Massage
199 - Iphone
195 - Manicure & Pedicure
190 - Massage
185 - Guitar Lessons
180 - Shopping for some new Jeans
175 - Manicure and Pedicure
170 - Massage
165 - Facial / New Clothing
160 - Manicure and Pedicure
155 - Massage
150 - GOAL - New Wardrobe!!!

I love manicure and pedicures (can you tell?) and I figured it to where I would be getting a massage every 3 months or so.... and I have a membership at a spa place that I get them for $40 per massage... (jealous much).... I've also always wanted to have guitar lessons. So... so far this is what I've got.

Breakdown for weight loss this year:

I've been listening to Zig Ziglar's ' How to get what you want' and he speaks of when he needed to lose weight he broke it down to what he needed to be doing daily. I decided that it would be interesting to do the same thing.
So I have 68 lbs to lose.
68 lbs divided by 12 months = 6 lbs per month. (doable) (It's actually 5.7 but I rounded up)
6 lbs divided by 4 (weeks in a month) = 1.4 lbs per week (very doable)
1.4 lbs divided by 7 (days in a week) = .2 (I gotta lose .2 lbs a day to reach my goal at the end of the year)
So what is .2 calorie wise?
To lose 1.4 lbs a week I would need to burn 4900 extra calories a week.
Which would be 700 calories a day.

This has put a whole new perspective on this for me. For instance it will help me think twice or even thrice before I put something into my mouth. I will know that I will have to work EXTRA EXTRA harder to burn off something. And.... I'm only aiming to lose .2 a day.... it seems simple. I know that it isn't lol.... I also know that you can't predict what the body will or won't do..... but I'll come darn close!!!  

This has turned out to be and extra longer post than I intended. I haven't completely figured out my workout schedule for the week.... and I will get on that and let you know tomorrow.

Hope that everyone had a great Monday!!! Now I'm off to force myself into some shut eye!!
Love Always,

Monday, January 03, 2011

Feeling a little lost

It's about 3am...... And as already stated....I'm feeling a little lost. I had pizza tonight and I feel terrible. Literally my body feels terrible I want to get it out of my system. Why is it I always forget what I feel like afterward when I'm trying to figure out heat to eat? Seriously ..... I did it on Thursday too.... I had a great day and I got Taco Bell. Not quite sure why but it made sense in my mind at that moment and I ended up feeling horrible. Why is itIneverlearn my lessons. This makes me feel like I'm not being responsible and I'm not taking care of myself.

I need to pit together a schedule to stick to. I'm a planner I love schedules.....what happened? I find myself shying away and being lackadaisical. I'm in a bit of a rut. I use to be on top of everything and now I just feel burnt out. I need to find some motivation somewhere.

Tomorrow I want to start my insanity workout as well as to a bit of treadmill work. My ankle is still a little sore if I over work it so I'm gonna be careful as to not to injure it but to strengthen it. Tomorrow also starts my food journaling. I must admit I am horrible about it, I also know that that is probably ultimate reason I continually fall off the wagon.

I have written out some rewards that are not food related. I will share those with you soon. I am also going to write out a schedule of what I want from my weekly workouts. I've got a lot to do. I need this to be planned. "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail" Its so true.

I hope everyone is having a happy and healthy day! (at least when you're awake!)
Love Always