The Beginning

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Insomina I beseech you.... Why do you vex me so?

It's 3:38am... and I can't sleep. It's really beginning to toast my cookie! I have not had a decent night of sleep in I don't know how long.... What is wrong with me? I'm not even drinking any caffeine!

Tonight: I fell asleep about 7pm... excited to get a full nights rest... when I get a phone call at 10pm. Ignore it.... they called back.... ignore it again.. they called back.... finally I answered (In fear that there may actually be some kind of emergency) when they ask me 'oh did I wake you' Hmmmp
After speaking with them for a few minutes I was excited to get back to sleep but when my head hit the pillow I was wide awake... and still am.

Last Night: I finally fell asleep around 4am and slept until 10am... which is surprising (see 'the night before last')

The Night Before Last: Freaking Insomnia kept me awake until 4am... then I woke up and hour later while my husband was getting ready for work... only to lay in bed until 9am and sleep 1pm.

I'm draggin' but I have no clue why I can't sleep. I'm not stressed out... I've been eatin' pretty great... and I don't eat right before I go to sleep... usually there is about 3 or 4 hours in between. I know that if I don't start getting my sleep then my body is gonna ruin me and release all these wonderful hormones that make me wanna eat more.... actually yesterday and today were perfect examples.

I've been toying with the idea of going to the gym at 5am when they open to workout... come home shower and sleep for a few hours then head off to the office. We'll see.... there's nothing I hate more than that dizzy nauseating feeling I get when I haven't gotten enough sleep (yes yes I know I'm not the teenager I once was).

One other thing I found really interesting. Over the past so many years I've read/heard/seen/witnessed people losing weight and a lot of times when asked 'What's your secret?' they respond with a simple answer.... "I thought of food as fuel" While I understand that.... I admit It wasn't until this week on the Biggest Loser that I actually GOT IT. On Biggest Loser this week they took all the contestants to the Olympic Training Facility in Colorado to train with some of the Olympians... which was pretty cool. The contestants toured the kitchen where they had many many meal stations. Each station had the choices with all the nutritional facts listed. Then some nutritionists were answering questions they had. For instance How many calories to the athletes eat? Answer: It varies... anywhere from 1600 - 8000 depending on the athlete and their event. Then they showed a few options that some of the athletes eat... like spaghetti with meatballs for a speed skater... etc. But then the most interesting thing to me... is they described WHY the athletes were eating certain said food. For instance the speed skater needs a lot of carbs... that's why they eat the pasta.... and they mentioned chicken was for recovery since they are constantly building and maintaining muscles.

It just completely dawned on me... they have no emotion what so ever about what they eat. It is only used as a tool to help them toward their goal. That's major. Sometimes I look at Mac and Cheese... or Pizza and miss it... I may even consider it. And while it's not that I can't indulge every so often if I'd like, it's the fact that it doesn't truly help me with reaching my goal. (Otherwise I promise you I'd eat it every night) If I do indulge frequently then I'm actually hurting myself and distancing myself from my goal. I need to look at food as fuel. I may want that snickers bar (haven't had one since last year whoo hoo) but what is it going to do to my body? Spike my sugar levels, give me just a little energy before slamming me into the ground and leave me struggling to find another energy fix, help me to GAIN weight? It doesn't help the performance of my body. It may seem like a good thing but the overall reality after weighing all the options is it is detrimental to me. I need to see food as fuel... not with emotion.
Alright that's my Oprah moment of the day. I think I'm gonna lay down and try to sleep.
Have a great day everyone!
Love Always,


  1. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time sleeping. I feel your pain. I have only experienced true insomnia when I was pregnant with my daughters followed by narcolepsy (not really) the following day (all day)... right now I wish I could sleep. I'm exhausted. But I can't thanks to the soda I drank that I THOUGHT was diet but wasn't. So I'm on this random sugar high. Neat. I haven't had this much sugar in over 6 weeks. I hope you got to sleep well. :)

  2. I recently had trouble sleeping so I decided to have a regular bed time, I turn off the TV and just before bed I have a nice soothing cup of tea. I've been sleeping much better these days although sometimes I wake up way too early. A good time for blogging!

  3. Sorry you're not sleeping well. On the other hand I love what you have to say about food as fuel. I, too, have a hard time seperating food from emotion. You are doing great! No snickers for a year!? Whoohoo!

    Keelie (REAL FAT)

  4. I'm sorry you're having a hard time sleeping. I suffer from insomnia too, have ever since I was in high school. I don't like taking the sleeping pills, so instead I try doing relaxing things for the hour before I go to sleep. Either a long shower or bath with lavender, then instead of TV, reading a book or a magazine in bed.

    If I'm still having trouble sleeping, I will get myself ready to sleep, lights off, etc. Then I will lay in my bed and slowly relax each muscle in my body, feeling the tension release in each. When I was on the swim team in high school we would listen to a hypnosis tape once a week and it taught us to relax each part of our body, starting with our fingers and working to each part of our body until we were completely relaxed and at ease. By the end of it, I'm ready to sleep and my body feels light as can be.

    I missed this weeks BL, so I'll definitely have to watch the repeat later this week. I remember that I read somewhere before about the foods athletes eat before competing. We used to eat lots of pasta before a big meet when I swam. I really need to learn how to separate emotion from food as well because that's where my problems with food stem from.

    Keep up the good work!